And now, the synopsis:Episode 2: Clunky Robot Is Go!
Scoop Quasar activated the robot Dr. Shika gave him at the end of last episode. The robot, Altair-9000, told Scoop that he had been deactivated and dismantled two years ago. Scoop excitedly started jotting down notes, but then realized that the robot wasn’t a story…it was a friend.
Following his caffeine-induced cleaning binge, the hung-over Dr. Shika woke up in the bathroom. Commander Blanket entered, and they took turns vomiting. Puzzled by his strange symptoms, Dr. Shika explained that he needed to study the human physique for comparison. Commander Blanket suggested he use Dwayne Tomagachi as a test subject. The mention of Tomagachi’s name reminded Dr. Shika about some strange goings-on at the station. Every night at 3 AM, the air conditioning is shut off…increasing the danger that the frozen prisoner Heinous McMurder might thaw out and escape.
Cody Gage was preparing to jumpstart Armageddon Uno’s ship when Armageddon called Cody “little man” one time too many. Cody pointed out that not all mechanics are men, but Armageddon still couldn’t figure it out…until Cody tore open her jumpsuit and planted a big kiss on him.
Edwina Prototype was cleaning up the station’s kitchen when Jacob Fisher ran in, chasing a pig. Jacob explained that they were allowing the station’s pigs to run free after the last batch kept coming down with space madness. Jacob reminisced about the greased-pig-catching contests back home. Edwina praised him for his efforts at preserving the Amish way of life, and they decided to try a greased-pig contest of their own.
Nostalgic for the karaoke bars back home, Dwayne Tomagachi was singing on the bridge when Commander Blanket entered. Dwayne presented Blanket with a check for $2 million, then repeated his “suggestion” that they get rid of the wood fixtures.
BLANKET: “But wood gives it that homey feel!”
TOMAGACHI: “It also lets in vacuum of space.”
Tomagachi explained that the nightly shutdown of the air conditioning was done simply because “warm people are more efficient.” He then suggested that the station accept even more corporate sponsorship. Dwayne tried to win Commander Blanket over by saying he didn’t hold it against him that he blew up those retarded kids.
Altair-9000 was telling his story to Scoop Quasar, explaining that he fell victim to neglect and disrepair until he was finally dismantled two years ago. Scoop wanted to share the robot’s story with his readers, and Altair-9000 complied by transmitting the story instantly to Earth. Scoop realized he could now reach a wider audience than he’d ever imagined.
Having caught the greased pig, Edwina and Jacob were standing very close together. Edwina began to experience a new, unfamiliar feeling for Jacob. Realizing that Jacob shuns technology, Edwina tried to conceal her android nature. Suddenly, Armageddon Uno and Cody Gage came in, kissing passionately. When Edwina confronted Armageddon about their patty-melt experience last episode, Armageddon brushed her off.
ARMAGEDDON: “Whoa, babe, you’re smothering me!”
EDWINA: “Just like I smothered that patty-melt with onions!”
Commander Blanket used the station’s comm.-link to contact La Vegas and bet his $2 million check on the Oscar de la Puma fight. The bookie informed Blanket that the fight was fixed, and that his 50-to-1 bet would pay off $100 million.
Dr. Shika confronted Dwayne Tomagachi about all the changes being made to the station. They began hitting it off, despite the fact that Dr. Shika considers Dwayne evil. Dwayne told Shika that he’s just misunderstood and only seeks efficiency. He then told Shika that the nightly power failures were for the installation of new improvements, including a bidet in Shika’s quarters. After checking his Computron to find out what a bidet is, Dr. Shika eagerly accepted the idea.
Jacob Fisher was doing his chores in the station’s barn and talking to Hope, the calf that was born last episode. Cody Gage entered, filled with maternal feelings for her part in the delivery. Cradling Hope, Cody confessed her feelings of guilt and regret for having unplanned sex with Armageddon Uno. Jacob Fisher lent an understanding ear, then agreed to give Cody “visitation rights” for the calf.
Altair-9000 transmitted a letter from home to Scoop Quasar. Scoop began reading the letter from his girlfriend, then started crying from homesickness. Although Scoop was embarrassed by the show of emotion, Altair-9000 was impressed by his sensitivity, and offered to comfort him.
ALTAIR-9000: “I would be honored to be short-circuited by your tears.”
Commander Blanket held a staff meeting of the entire crew. He explained that several more corporations had put money into the station, and, in the tradition of Turner Field, they would be renaming the station after one of their new sponsors…the Happy Happy Puff Puff Fun Time Cigarette company.
BLANKET: “After all, who doesn’t love cigarettes?”
EDWINA: “I’ll tell you who doesn’t love cigarettes! People breathing out holes in their necks, that’s who!”
BLANKET: “Why are you complaining? You don’t even breathe. You’re an android.”
Shocked by the revelation of Edwina’s technological origins, Jacob Fisher fled in anguish.
After the meeting, Dr. Shika, Scoop, and Altair-9000 conferred about Commander Blanket’s giving in to Dwayne Tomagachi. Altair linked into the ship’s computers, and discovered that the Yamamoto Corporation doesn’t merely control 75% of the station…they control 100%, and the commander is simply their puppet.
Cody Gage was singing a lullaby to Hope in her quarters when Armageddon Uno walked in, ready for more sex. Cody explained that she couldn’t just hop into bed anymore, now that she had responsibilities as a mother. When Armageddon reacted with shock, Cody started complaining about his shallowness and immaturity. She also used the word “uterus” a lot. Finally, Armageddon received (or faked) a call from his ship, and bid Cody a macho, insensitive farewell.
Having set the station’s communicators to “karaoke,” Dwayne Tomagachi and Commander Blanket did a hot duet of “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart.” Then, they talked about the crew’s chilly reception to the new changes. Commander Blanket despaired that nobody else understood…with the new money coming in, he could start an outreach program to make up for his blowing up the retarded kids. Dwayne offered to help Blanket even more, by restoring his rank and making his bees super-powerful.
Jacob Fisher ran back to his quarters, despairing over his attraction towards Edwina and his discovery that she’s a mechanical abomination. He asked God if this was a test from Him, or a temptation from the devil. Just then, Edwina arrived outside the barn and serenaded Jacob about her love and her yearning to be human.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Scoop Quasar activated the robot Dr. Shika gave him at the end of last episode. The robot, Altair-9000, told Scoop that he had been deactivated and dismantled two years ago. Scoop excitedly started jotting down notes, but then realized that the robot wasn’t a story…it was a friend.
Following his caffeine-induced cleaning binge, the hung-over Dr. Shika woke up in the bathroom. Commander Blanket entered, and they took turns vomiting. Puzzled by his strange symptoms, Dr. Shika explained that he needed to study the human physique for comparison. Commander Blanket suggested he use Dwayne Tomagachi as a test subject. The mention of Tomagachi’s name reminded Dr. Shika about some strange goings-on at the station. Every night at 3 AM, the air conditioning is shut off…increasing the danger that the frozen prisoner Heinous McMurder might thaw out and escape.
Cody Gage was preparing to jumpstart Armageddon Uno’s ship when Armageddon called Cody “little man” one time too many. Cody pointed out that not all mechanics are men, but Armageddon still couldn’t figure it out…until Cody tore open her jumpsuit and planted a big kiss on him.
Edwina Prototype was cleaning up the station’s kitchen when Jacob Fisher ran in, chasing a pig. Jacob explained that they were allowing the station’s pigs to run free after the last batch kept coming down with space madness. Jacob reminisced about the greased-pig-catching contests back home. Edwina praised him for his efforts at preserving the Amish way of life, and they decided to try a greased-pig contest of their own.
Nostalgic for the karaoke bars back home, Dwayne Tomagachi was singing on the bridge when Commander Blanket entered. Dwayne presented Blanket with a check for $2 million, then repeated his “suggestion” that they get rid of the wood fixtures.
BLANKET: “But wood gives it that homey feel!”
TOMAGACHI: “It also lets in vacuum of space.”
Tomagachi explained that the nightly shutdown of the air conditioning was done simply because “warm people are more efficient.” He then suggested that the station accept even more corporate sponsorship. Dwayne tried to win Commander Blanket over by saying he didn’t hold it against him that he blew up those retarded kids.
Altair-9000 was telling his story to Scoop Quasar, explaining that he fell victim to neglect and disrepair until he was finally dismantled two years ago. Scoop wanted to share the robot’s story with his readers, and Altair-9000 complied by transmitting the story instantly to Earth. Scoop realized he could now reach a wider audience than he’d ever imagined.
Having caught the greased pig, Edwina and Jacob were standing very close together. Edwina began to experience a new, unfamiliar feeling for Jacob. Realizing that Jacob shuns technology, Edwina tried to conceal her android nature. Suddenly, Armageddon Uno and Cody Gage came in, kissing passionately. When Edwina confronted Armageddon about their patty-melt experience last episode, Armageddon brushed her off.
ARMAGEDDON: “Whoa, babe, you’re smothering me!”
EDWINA: “Just like I smothered that patty-melt with onions!”
Commander Blanket used the station’s comm.-link to contact La Vegas and bet his $2 million check on the Oscar de la Puma fight. The bookie informed Blanket that the fight was fixed, and that his 50-to-1 bet would pay off $100 million.
Dr. Shika confronted Dwayne Tomagachi about all the changes being made to the station. They began hitting it off, despite the fact that Dr. Shika considers Dwayne evil. Dwayne told Shika that he’s just misunderstood and only seeks efficiency. He then told Shika that the nightly power failures were for the installation of new improvements, including a bidet in Shika’s quarters. After checking his Computron to find out what a bidet is, Dr. Shika eagerly accepted the idea.
Jacob Fisher was doing his chores in the station’s barn and talking to Hope, the calf that was born last episode. Cody Gage entered, filled with maternal feelings for her part in the delivery. Cradling Hope, Cody confessed her feelings of guilt and regret for having unplanned sex with Armageddon Uno. Jacob Fisher lent an understanding ear, then agreed to give Cody “visitation rights” for the calf.
Altair-9000 transmitted a letter from home to Scoop Quasar. Scoop began reading the letter from his girlfriend, then started crying from homesickness. Although Scoop was embarrassed by the show of emotion, Altair-9000 was impressed by his sensitivity, and offered to comfort him.
ALTAIR-9000: “I would be honored to be short-circuited by your tears.”
Commander Blanket held a staff meeting of the entire crew. He explained that several more corporations had put money into the station, and, in the tradition of Turner Field, they would be renaming the station after one of their new sponsors…the Happy Happy Puff Puff Fun Time Cigarette company.
BLANKET: “After all, who doesn’t love cigarettes?”
EDWINA: “I’ll tell you who doesn’t love cigarettes! People breathing out holes in their necks, that’s who!”
BLANKET: “Why are you complaining? You don’t even breathe. You’re an android.”
Shocked by the revelation of Edwina’s technological origins, Jacob Fisher fled in anguish.
After the meeting, Dr. Shika, Scoop, and Altair-9000 conferred about Commander Blanket’s giving in to Dwayne Tomagachi. Altair linked into the ship’s computers, and discovered that the Yamamoto Corporation doesn’t merely control 75% of the station…they control 100%, and the commander is simply their puppet.
Cody Gage was singing a lullaby to Hope in her quarters when Armageddon Uno walked in, ready for more sex. Cody explained that she couldn’t just hop into bed anymore, now that she had responsibilities as a mother. When Armageddon reacted with shock, Cody started complaining about his shallowness and immaturity. She also used the word “uterus” a lot. Finally, Armageddon received (or faked) a call from his ship, and bid Cody a macho, insensitive farewell.
Having set the station’s communicators to “karaoke,” Dwayne Tomagachi and Commander Blanket did a hot duet of “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart.” Then, they talked about the crew’s chilly reception to the new changes. Commander Blanket despaired that nobody else understood…with the new money coming in, he could start an outreach program to make up for his blowing up the retarded kids. Dwayne offered to help Blanket even more, by restoring his rank and making his bees super-powerful.
Jacob Fisher ran back to his quarters, despairing over his attraction towards Edwina and his discovery that she’s a mechanical abomination. He asked God if this was a test from Him, or a temptation from the devil. Just then, Edwina arrived outside the barn and serenaded Jacob about her love and her yearning to be human.
TO BE CONTINUED…
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