Episode 19: McMurder No More
Revitalized by having constant sex with the Pleasure-9 she-bot Estrogena Nipplor, Commander Blanket had regressed to fratboy age. He brought her aboard the Keeton-2, promising her that he’d leave his command to be with her. He offered to put on some KISS records, but she was not impressed.
Back on the surface of Pleasure-9, Altair-9000 and Dwayne Tomagachi (a.k.a. Angus McMurder) were reunited after being on their own for two weeks. In that time, Altair had found inner peace in the beauty of nature, while Dwayne had simply gone insane.
Edwina Prototype tinkered with the butter-churn rocket while Jacob Fisher was away on Earth searching for their daughter Scoopella. Dr. Shika entered, and Edwina confessed her doubts that Jacob really loved her. Shika pointed out that she obviously must still have feelings for Jacob, or else she wouldn’t be working on his invention.
On board the Chicken Hawk, Armageddon Uno was surprised to see Darren Johnson…partly because he wasn’t expecting any visitors, but mainly because Darren was stabbed to death in Episode 16. Darren explained that his body had been jettisoned into space and made its way to Pleasure-9, where he was “sexed back to life” by Estrogena. When Darren discovered that she had taken one of his testicles even as she restored his life, he swore to rescue Commander Blanket from Estrogena’s clutches.
Estrogena Nipplor and Edwina Prototype met and immediately recognized each other as sister she-bots. Estrogena remarked that she never expected to see another of her kind, as all her people were wiped out. Edwina accused Estrogena of doing the “wiping out” herself, but Estrogena explained that the everyone else on Pleasure-9 had actually succumbed to an allergy to cheap cologne. Edwina apologized for her initial hostility, and they sat down for some she-bot bonding.
Searching for Estrogena, Armageddon & Darren discovered Commander Blanket, now regressed to a teenager.
ARMAGEDDON: “You better stop bangin’ that broad, or you’ll be in the womb in twenty minutes!”
Altair and Dwayne made their way back to the station via a rope ladder. Dwayne talked to a basketball and reminisced about the hut he made from his own feces when he was alone on Pleasure-9. Altair tried to get Dwayne to snap back to his old self.
Dr. Shika examined the teenaged Commander Blanket while a tense and edgy Armageddon Uno stood guard.
SHIKA: “Commander, I’m a little concerned right now because NOBODY’S STEERING THE SHIP!”
Shika checked the station’s computers to track down Estrogena Nipplor. When Shika mispronounced her name, Armageddon threatened to kill him. That’s how tense and edgy he was.
Edwina and Estrogena got drunk and talked about their lives. When Edwina mentioned her daughter Scoopella, Estrogena was amazed that Edwina had delivered her the old-fashioned way (“It came out of your hoo-hah?”) instead of using a birthing pod. Estrogena envied Edwina for having a real relationship and real childbirth, then revealed that she’d like to have those experiences herself…with Darren Johnson.
Altair-9000 brought Dwayne Tomagachi to see Dr. Shika. As Shika examined Dwayne, Dwayne started mimicking the doctor. As he and Dwayne spoke in one voice, Shika diagnosed Dwayne’s madness as the result of malnutrition. Dr. Shika gave Dwayne a can of beans for protein, and Dwayne was soon restored to his old self.
DWAYNE: “Dr. Shika! You actually prescribed something that worked!”
Darren and Armageddon finally found Estrogena in the hallway. Darren and Estrogena were very happy to see each other, but Commander Blanket (restored to his proper age) entered and warned Darren that he was in danger of going from simple sex to a full-blown relationship. Estrogena asked if it was a bad time to mention she wanted a baby.
Dwayne was in the commissary when a drunken Edwina entered, looking for someone to commiserate with.
EDWINA: “Are you evil, or can I talk to you?”
DWAYNE: “Look at the goatee! I’m obviously evil!”
Nevertheless, Edwina poured out her heart about Scoopella’s rampage, and they sang a duet about the difficulties of raising children.
Altair was recharging when Estrogena came in. She told Altair how her entire family had been killed by Old Spice, but that she wanted to form a new family with Darren Johnson. Altair offered to help her serenade him.
Darren confessed that he was starting to develop genuine feelings for Estrogena. Commander Blanket warned him against wild, sexy women, suggesting that he find a woman he could be friends with instead. Just then, Dr. Shika rushed in and told them where Estrogena was.
Edwina was showing pictures of Scoopella to Dwayne. Dwayne was touched by the domestic scenes, and confessed that he’d always wanted children, but his brother Heinous always said they’d get in the way of their criminal career. He explained that he’d wanted to kidnap her baby for this reason, and not just so he could breed an android army. Edwina told Dwayne that he could give up his evil ways, adopt some children, and build a future with Cody Gage.
DWAYNE: “I don’t have to be a McMurder! I can be a McLiver! A McLifegiver!”
While looking for Estrogena, the search party got distracted by the holodeck, setting it to the pirate and Rodney Dangerfield programs. Estrogena entered and recognized Dr. Shika. She showed Shika the blue testicle from her collection…the one she inherited from her mother. She revealed that her mother had taken it from Shika’s father when he was stranded on Pleasure-9…meaning that Estrogena was Shika’s half-sister!
Altair-9000 found Darren and told him that Estrogena liked him. Darren was thrilled by the news. The search party and Estrogena entered, and the lovers had a happy reunion. Dr. Shika made an honest woman of his sister by performing a wedding ceremony. The newlyweds got into an escape pod and were jettisoned off to the planet Honeymoon-5.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Showing posts with label estrogena. Show all posts
Showing posts with label estrogena. Show all posts
Friday, November 21, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Season 4, Episode 18: Enter Estrogena
Introducing Mary Kraft as Estrogena Nipplor.
Episode 18: Enter Estrogena
As Edwina Prototype piloted the station to Earth (where Armageddon Uno had taken her daughter Scoopella), Edwina and Jacob discovered that Detroit had been reduced to a smoking crater. As a human/android hybrid, Scoopella was immensely powerful…and when the mood swings of puberty hit her, she went on a rampage.
JACOB: “She’s no longer the daughter of the Lord…she’s now the Antichrist!”
On the planet Pleasure-9, Dwayne Tomagachi (a.k.a. Angus McMurder) and Altair-9000 had mysteriously vanished, leaving Commander Blanket alone with just a tennis ball (whom he named “Schmilson”) as his only companion. Suddenly, a mysterious (and beautiful) woman arrived. She explained that she was from a race of highly advanced she-bots, luring men to their planet for reproduction (adding that they can only produce female offspring)…but that all of her people had left.
MYSTERIOUS WOMAN: “Every instinct is telling me to throw you up against the wall and give you sex like you’ve never had before.”
BLANKET: “I say yes.”
Fleeing the wreckage of Detroit in the Chicken Hawk, Armageddon Uno was contacted by the Keeton-2. He shouted that “All the people who didn’t flee Detroit in the sixties are dead”—putting the bodycount somewhere in the tens.
Jacob prayed to God, apologizing for the terrible job he did bringing up Scoopella. He realized that by pushing her too hard into the Amish way of life, he only wound up pushing her away. Jacob asked God to punish him for his failure.
In the medlab, Dr. Shika offered to adjust Edwina’s circuits & wavelengths so that they could home in on Scoopella. They tried, but the signal wasn’t clear.
Cody Gage (whose hair had turned white from the stress of her separation from Dwayne) was teaching new crewmember Ensign Reggie how to guide the Chicken Hawk into the station’s docking bay. Once the ship was docked, Armageddon was stunned by his sister’s new look. Armageddon told Cody how he had been showing Scoopella a good time, teaching her how to rob casinos and shoot at cops, when she went out of control and started laying waste to the city. Cody advised him not to tell Edwina about the crime spree part of the story.
Back on Pleasure-9, Commander Blanket and his new friend basked in the afterglow.
BLANKET: “I only take off my ascot for two reasons…and that was both of them.”
Blanket was so re-energized by the incredible sex that his hair was no longer gray. He finally got around to asking the woman’s name—Estrogena Nipplor. When Blanket introduced his tennis-ball Schmilson, Estrogena giggled. Consulting a translation button in her arm, she explained that “Schmilson” in her language meant “butt sex.” Estrogena told Blanket that she needed his help to leave the planet. Suddenly, Dr. Shika contacted them on the communicator, and Estrogena demanded that they bring the ship or she’d kill the Commander.
A pained Jacob Fisher entered Dr. Shika’s office, explaining that God had answered his prayer to strike him down…the Lord sent a bolt from the heavens into his rear end. Examining Jacob, Shika diagnosed a case of “heavenly hemorrhoids.”
Edwina threw a screeching fit about the station leaving Earth to return to Pleasure-9. Once she got that out of her system, she sang a heartfelt ballad about Scoopella’s rampage.
EDWINA: “One city’s burned/And now I’ve learned/Not to procreate no more…”
On Pleasure-9, Blanket asked Estrogena to get a sandwich. After she left, Blanket asked Shika to run a check on her. Upon hearing the name “Nipplor,” Shika was aghast. Shika revealed that his father had been a delivery driver for Little Space Debbie, and had died of sexual exhaustion after taking a shipment of crackers to Pleasure-9. Estrogena returned empty-handed, explaining that there wasn’t any food to make a sandwich with. (“We haven’t had crackers in thirty years!”)
Cody Gage beamed down to Pleasure-9 to look for Dwayne/Angus.
As Jacob applied some ointment, Edwina entered with a snack that matched her mood—shortbread cookies that crumble & break up very easily. She felt that Jacob had never truly loved her, that her android nature was simply an exciting novelty for him. She offered to erase her memory of their relationship, but Jacob refused. He told her that his feelings for her were indeed genuine. He also confessed that his plans for the butter-churn rocket “sucked.”
Armageddon Uno and Ensign Reggie got to know each other over a malted milkshake. After Reggie talked about his girl back home and the Harvard scholarship waiting for him, Armageddon observed that Reggie had a LOT to live for. Dr. Shika rushed in, looking for volunteers to go down to Pleasure-9. Armageddon revealed that he had lost his third testicle the last time he was on Pleasure-9, and he was ready for some payback.
On Pleasure-9, Cody called out for Angus (pronounced “Anus”) until she ran into Commander Blanket and Estrogena. Cody pressed a button on Estrogena’s arm, and Estrogena was instantly seized by a need to go to the bathroom.
As the away team arrived on Pleasure-9, Dr. Shika warned them that he had a feeling one of them wouldn’t make it back. He was proved right when Estrogena entered and snapped Reggie’s neck. Estrogena and Armageddon recognized each other.
ESTROGENA: “Armageddon Uno. Long time no fuck.”
After Estrogena taunted Armageddon by telling him she kept his third nut on a keychain, Commander Blanket entered. Armageddon & Shika told Blanket that his new “girlfriend” was dangerous, but he didn’t believe them until Armageddon forced him to do a nut-check. Commander Blanket discovered that “there USED to be two of us!”
Back aboard the station, Jacob Fisher sacrificed a lamb (actually Jim Brewer’s “Goat Boy”) to save the lost souls of Detroit. In response, God finally spoke to Jacob, urging him to continue with his work. God told Jacob that the Amish were indeed the chosen people, and that hemorrhoids are the chosen affliction. When God told Jacob to make amends with Edwina, Jacob protested that she was an android, not made by God.
GOD: “I made the men who made the androids, Jacob. It’s part of my master plan.”
JACOB: “We could’ve saved a lot of trouble if you’d told me that 7 weeks ago!”
Alone on Pleasure-9, Cody Gage repeatedly called out for “Anus.”
TO BE CONTINUED…
Episode 18: Enter Estrogena
As Edwina Prototype piloted the station to Earth (where Armageddon Uno had taken her daughter Scoopella), Edwina and Jacob discovered that Detroit had been reduced to a smoking crater. As a human/android hybrid, Scoopella was immensely powerful…and when the mood swings of puberty hit her, she went on a rampage.
JACOB: “She’s no longer the daughter of the Lord…she’s now the Antichrist!”
On the planet Pleasure-9, Dwayne Tomagachi (a.k.a. Angus McMurder) and Altair-9000 had mysteriously vanished, leaving Commander Blanket alone with just a tennis ball (whom he named “Schmilson”) as his only companion. Suddenly, a mysterious (and beautiful) woman arrived. She explained that she was from a race of highly advanced she-bots, luring men to their planet for reproduction (adding that they can only produce female offspring)…but that all of her people had left.
MYSTERIOUS WOMAN: “Every instinct is telling me to throw you up against the wall and give you sex like you’ve never had before.”
BLANKET: “I say yes.”
Fleeing the wreckage of Detroit in the Chicken Hawk, Armageddon Uno was contacted by the Keeton-2. He shouted that “All the people who didn’t flee Detroit in the sixties are dead”—putting the bodycount somewhere in the tens.
Jacob prayed to God, apologizing for the terrible job he did bringing up Scoopella. He realized that by pushing her too hard into the Amish way of life, he only wound up pushing her away. Jacob asked God to punish him for his failure.
In the medlab, Dr. Shika offered to adjust Edwina’s circuits & wavelengths so that they could home in on Scoopella. They tried, but the signal wasn’t clear.
Cody Gage (whose hair had turned white from the stress of her separation from Dwayne) was teaching new crewmember Ensign Reggie how to guide the Chicken Hawk into the station’s docking bay. Once the ship was docked, Armageddon was stunned by his sister’s new look. Armageddon told Cody how he had been showing Scoopella a good time, teaching her how to rob casinos and shoot at cops, when she went out of control and started laying waste to the city. Cody advised him not to tell Edwina about the crime spree part of the story.
Back on Pleasure-9, Commander Blanket and his new friend basked in the afterglow.
BLANKET: “I only take off my ascot for two reasons…and that was both of them.”
Blanket was so re-energized by the incredible sex that his hair was no longer gray. He finally got around to asking the woman’s name—Estrogena Nipplor. When Blanket introduced his tennis-ball Schmilson, Estrogena giggled. Consulting a translation button in her arm, she explained that “Schmilson” in her language meant “butt sex.” Estrogena told Blanket that she needed his help to leave the planet. Suddenly, Dr. Shika contacted them on the communicator, and Estrogena demanded that they bring the ship or she’d kill the Commander.
A pained Jacob Fisher entered Dr. Shika’s office, explaining that God had answered his prayer to strike him down…the Lord sent a bolt from the heavens into his rear end. Examining Jacob, Shika diagnosed a case of “heavenly hemorrhoids.”
Edwina threw a screeching fit about the station leaving Earth to return to Pleasure-9. Once she got that out of her system, she sang a heartfelt ballad about Scoopella’s rampage.
EDWINA: “One city’s burned/And now I’ve learned/Not to procreate no more…”
On Pleasure-9, Blanket asked Estrogena to get a sandwich. After she left, Blanket asked Shika to run a check on her. Upon hearing the name “Nipplor,” Shika was aghast. Shika revealed that his father had been a delivery driver for Little Space Debbie, and had died of sexual exhaustion after taking a shipment of crackers to Pleasure-9. Estrogena returned empty-handed, explaining that there wasn’t any food to make a sandwich with. (“We haven’t had crackers in thirty years!”)
Cody Gage beamed down to Pleasure-9 to look for Dwayne/Angus.
As Jacob applied some ointment, Edwina entered with a snack that matched her mood—shortbread cookies that crumble & break up very easily. She felt that Jacob had never truly loved her, that her android nature was simply an exciting novelty for him. She offered to erase her memory of their relationship, but Jacob refused. He told her that his feelings for her were indeed genuine. He also confessed that his plans for the butter-churn rocket “sucked.”
Armageddon Uno and Ensign Reggie got to know each other over a malted milkshake. After Reggie talked about his girl back home and the Harvard scholarship waiting for him, Armageddon observed that Reggie had a LOT to live for. Dr. Shika rushed in, looking for volunteers to go down to Pleasure-9. Armageddon revealed that he had lost his third testicle the last time he was on Pleasure-9, and he was ready for some payback.
On Pleasure-9, Cody called out for Angus (pronounced “Anus”) until she ran into Commander Blanket and Estrogena. Cody pressed a button on Estrogena’s arm, and Estrogena was instantly seized by a need to go to the bathroom.
As the away team arrived on Pleasure-9, Dr. Shika warned them that he had a feeling one of them wouldn’t make it back. He was proved right when Estrogena entered and snapped Reggie’s neck. Estrogena and Armageddon recognized each other.
ESTROGENA: “Armageddon Uno. Long time no fuck.”
After Estrogena taunted Armageddon by telling him she kept his third nut on a keychain, Commander Blanket entered. Armageddon & Shika told Blanket that his new “girlfriend” was dangerous, but he didn’t believe them until Armageddon forced him to do a nut-check. Commander Blanket discovered that “there USED to be two of us!”
Back aboard the station, Jacob Fisher sacrificed a lamb (actually Jim Brewer’s “Goat Boy”) to save the lost souls of Detroit. In response, God finally spoke to Jacob, urging him to continue with his work. God told Jacob that the Amish were indeed the chosen people, and that hemorrhoids are the chosen affliction. When God told Jacob to make amends with Edwina, Jacob protested that she was an android, not made by God.
GOD: “I made the men who made the androids, Jacob. It’s part of my master plan.”
JACOB: “We could’ve saved a lot of trouble if you’d told me that 7 weeks ago!”
Alone on Pleasure-9, Cody Gage repeatedly called out for “Anus.”
TO BE CONTINUED…
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