Episode 8: Exterminate!
Michael Cash called in the exterminator Francis Pinsky with a two-part job…first, he wanted Francis to kill the rat, Refuse V. Torvelson. The second pest he wanted eliminated…Perry Fippler.
In the catacombs underneath the restaurant, Refuse was tracking Nipsey’s distinctive scent (coconut and Febreze) when he got caught in a glue trap. He realized he would have to gnaw his leg off to escape.
At the hostess stand, Perry was talking with the new waitress Cece Rondino, flirting in geek-speak. Cece explained that she was treating her job like a videogame, doing her best to collect XP and level up. Perry replied that he hoped they could level up his penis later that night. In the shadows, Nipsey saw the whole thing.
Santiago and Lois were going over their getaway plan. Santiago revealed that he had always dreamed of going to Mount Kilimanjaro, just like in the Toto song. He informed Lois that once they escaped, they would be hunted down…the only way to keep the authorities from coming after her would be to fake her own death. However, Lois revealed that she was having second thoughts…now that W.T. Friday’s had gotten a new rolling salad bar, she was thinking of staying. Santiago said she would have to choose between him and the salad bar. She asked for ten minutes to decide.
Nipsey was sleeping, having Poe-like nightmares from her guilt over abandoning Pat Anderson in the catacombs. Refuse V. Torvelson found her and woke her up by nibbling on her feet. Refuse informed her that her father was trapped underground. Nipsey remembered all the hints Pat had dropped and realized that Pat was her father. She bandaged up Refuse’s leg and set off with him to find Pat, following the trail Refuse had left with his own droppings.
Meanwhile, Francis Pinsky was following the trail himself, when he found the Professor. Putting a knife to the Professor’s throat, he growled that he was looking for a rat. The Professor admitted that he had seen Refuse, but warned that he believed the rat had AIDS. Francis revealed that he himself had developed Rat-AIDS in the 1980s as a weapon to wipe out rodents…he’d taken the virus and dumbed it down to rat level. Francis asked the Professor what he was willing to do for $5. The Professor assumed he was talking about sex.
Pat Anderson was wandering through the catacombs when he got caught in a glue trap. He was just about to start gnawing his arm off when Nipsey and Refuse found him. Nipsey confessed that she knew he was her father, and he asked her forgiveness for not being there for her. Above them, Francis sprayed his Rat-AIDS gas through the manhole. As the gas flooded the catacombs, the trio attempted to escape. Realizing that one of them would have to stay behind, Refuse told Pat and Nipsey to save themselves…he would sacrifice himself for them.
Lois went to Michael’s office and found Perry there. She explained that she’d come to give Michael her two weeks’ notice. Changing the subject (as he usually did), Perry revealed that Chief Barto’s ghost had informed him that Nipsey was still alive. Stunned by this news, Lois decided to stay on for Nipsey’s sake. However, Perry told her that her resignation was now in the system and it was too late to take it back.
Santiago and Michael met secretly, as they were still “Silencio Brothers” over their mutual guilt in Sam Friday’s death. Santiago gave Michael his two weeks’ notice, infuriating Michael. (“Do you know how hard it’s going to be to find someone I can manipulate as easily as you?”) Santiago declared that, despite Michael’s threats, he was still determined to leave with Lois and the rolling salad bar.
Francis Pinsky came to Michael’s office to collect half his fee, explaining that he’d infected Refuse with Rat-AIDS. Michael protested that he wanted the rat dead NOW, not years from now…and he wanted to see the body as proof. Francis warned that this would cost extra…TWO DOLLARS extra.
Cece was going over her side-work when Nipsey came in and started throwing things around. Cece and Nipsey confronted each other over their longtime rivalry, as they’d ruined each others’ lives in high school. (“It was YOUR decision to have sex with the football captain on the field, Cece…I just told everybody to watch.”) When Nipsey accused Cece of stealing Perry from her, Cece countered that Nipsey had never wanted him in the first place. Nipsey warned Cece that if she took Perry, she’d better be prepared to take her baby as well…Nipsey was planning to abandon it with Perry and Cece.
Francis went underground to search for Refuse, finding the rat weakened but furious. (“You gave me Rat-AIDS! I have a terrible HMO!”) Taking hold of Refuse, Francis asked the rat what his greatest accomplishment was. Refuse reminisced about the time he found a delicious half-rack of ribs behind a Chili’s. Drawing a knife, Francis told Refuse to focus on that happy feeling. As Refuse tearfully broke into the baby-back ribs song, Francis slit the rat’s throat and then stabbed him viciously.
Perry and Santiago were sitting on the roof, trying to burst clouds with their minds. Perry pointed out one that looked like a rat; as he destroyed it, he remarked “I feel like an entire audience is booing me.” Perry then gave Santiago a membership card to his Best Friends Club, explaining that he was one of the only people Perry could talk to…especially since he saw Santiago kill Nipsey’s mother.
The Professor ran into Francis Pinsky, who now had Refuse’s body strapped to his belt. (“You are one scary fuck!”) Francis asked the Professor where Perry was, explaining that he was asking because old black men know everything, just like Morgan Freeman in that prison movie. The Professor was offended by the stereotype, but replied that he DID know that Perry could usually be found in Michael’s office. Realizing that Francis was going to kill Perry, the Professor was struck by a Vietnam flashback. The rush of killing came over him, and he asked if he could come along.
Pat Anderson returned to W.T. Friday’s and settled in at his old table. Lois came by with the rolling salad bar and fed him every vegetable they had, presenting them over-dramatically because it may be the last salad she ever serves. She explained that she was going away, though she couldn’t tell him where. Pat protested that if she left, he would lose his touchstone at the restaurant.
Lured by a note supposedly written by Cece, Perry entered an old shack where Francis Pinsky was waiting. Francis asked Perry about his greatest accomplishment, and Perry replied that he hadn’t done it yet. As Francis drew his knife, Perry realized what was happening, then started rambling about Death coming to get him like in those Final Destination movies. Francis pointed out that in those movies, Death always wins…then Francis stabbed him. Barely reacting, Perry asked who had hired Francis. Francis informed him that it had been Michael, then stabbed Perry yet again. Still not reacting (“Seriously, how are you not falling down?”), Perry answered his cell phone. After taking the call, Perry remarked “It’s my heart…it’s just given its two weeks’ notice.” Then Perry collapsed.
Meanwhile, Francis’ exterminating chemicals seeped through the sewers and combined with the sulfur in the soil. The compound made its way down to the swamp where it soaked into a long-forgotten body that had been dumped there…the body of Sam Friday. The abandoned corpse convulsed and revived, declaring “I’m back, Michael Cash…and I can’t wait to see you!”
TO BE CONTINUED…
Showing posts with label cece. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cece. Show all posts
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
Season 15, Episode 7: The Rat and the Cat...acombs
Episode 7: The Rat & the Cat…acombs
In the aftermath of the basement explosion, Michael Cash was rummaging through the rubble in search of Nipsey and Pat Anderson. He was surprised to encounter an old friend…the talking rat Refuse V. Torvelson. As Michael explained that his friends might be dead, Refuse pointed out that the explosion had destroyed his home as well. Enraged by Refuse’s selfishness, Michael declared that the rat was no longer welcome at W.T. Friday’s. When Refuse pointed out that he’d never BEEN welcome at the restaurant, Michael replied that he was now double-unwelcome. They eventually arrived at an agreement: If Refuse used his powerful sense of smell to track Nipsey and Pat, Michael would allow him to live underneath the restaurant and bring him canned food.
Grief-stricken by Nipsey’s possible death, Perry Fippler was consoled by Santiago, who introduced him to the time-honored Mexican tradition of dealing with grief: Tequila. Tasting it, Perry observed that it tasted like a dead donkey’s butthole; Santiago explained that that was how it was aged. Perry lamented that he felt lost and abandoned, just like Sandra Bullock. Santiago suggested Perry work through his sorrow by role-playing as the Oscar-winning actress. Santiago got carried away with the charade, and began hitting on Perry just the way he would with the real Sandra Bullock: “If our lovemaking goes below 55 miles per hour, we’ll explode!”
Meanwhile, Lois was STILL tied up when the Professor heard her cries and found her. She explained that she had survived by chewing the same piece of gum for an entire week, though she had also soiled herself several times over. Being homeless, the Professor was able to withstand the smell as he freed her. Lois remembered that the Professor had shot Chief Barto in order to save her…but then he dragged away Barto’s body and didn’t come back. The Professor apologetically explained that he got caught up in Mass Effect 2 and forgot all about her.
As for Nipsey and Pat, they had survived the blast (thanks to Pat’s CIA training) and had made their way to Pat’s secret underground catacombs. Although Pat had lost the map to the surface, he could tell from the soil’s sulfur content that they must be near the restaurant. Pat assured Nipsey that he would get her back to the surface. (“I won’t let your child be born underground!” Pat mused how much Nipsey reminded him of his own daughter, who doesn’t even know he exists…much as Nipsey must feel towards her own father who she never knew. Nipsey did not get the hint.
Santiago had carried Perry to a singles bar to take his mind off his grief. Seeing a beautiful woman sitting by herself, Santiago encouraged Nipsey to talk to her…but knowing Perry’s tendency to ramble, he gave Perry an earpiece so he could guide her through the conversation Cyrano-style. Despite Santiago’s best intentions, Perry still rephrased all of Santiago’s lines into his usual Perry-speak. Perry began rambling about online videogames; much to his surprise, the woman understood exactly what he was talking about. She introduced herself as Cece, but added that her screen name is “Mylittlepony.” Recognizing her name from his games, Perry identified himself as “VHSNerd101.” Thrilled to meet a woman he could relate to in his own words, Perry removed the earpiece and began speaking for himself. Opening a bottle of 5-year donkey-ass tequila, Perry proposed a toast: “Here’s to meeting new friends…and pwning them.”
Lois was trying “Good Touch/Bad Touch” with Michael in his office, when Michael protested that he didn’t have time for their games anymore; he was too busy with his own physiotherapy and trying to get the restaurant back in order. Lois lamented that she was losing Santiago, and Michael pointed out that it might have something to do with the fact that she was sleeping with Michael. She countered that she was only doing so for revenge, and Michael wondered why they kept on sleeping together when neither of them enjoyed it. Lois complained that Michael had grown cold, and he replied that he had to make himself hard and cold to run a restaurant. Then he sentenced her to 20 lashes.
Searching for clues in the underground tunnels, Refuse V. Torvelson ran into the Professor, who was understandably freaked out by the sight of a talking rat. Refuse tried to allay the Professor’s fears, explaining that Michael had asked him to find Nipsey and Pat. Agreeing to help, the Professor climbed onto Refuse’s back and rode him off to the rescue.
Hopelessly lost in the catacombs, Pat Anderson took a Sudoko break as Nipsey complained about his incompetence. They got into a heated argument, ending with Pat asking where she inherited her temperament. He then suggested that they split up. When Nipsey pointed out that one of them would certainly die if they separated, Pat simply replied “Well, good knowing you.”
Perry went to Michael’s office and told him about his meeting with Cece. Michael asked if Cece had any experience as a server, since they needed a replacement for Nipsey. Perry was disturbed by the thought of replacing Nipsey, so Michael instructed him to take all his feelings for Nipsey, crush them into a little ball, and stick them up his ass for five years to make a fine tequila.
Wandering through the catacombs, the Professor found Nipsey. When she asked if he could find the way out, he informed her that they were directly underneath the W.T. Friday’s restroom. He reached up and dislodged the manhole cover, then asked “Wait, wasn’t there somebody with you?” Nipsey replied that she was alone.
Elsewhere in the catacombs, Pat encountered Refuse V. Torvelson. Stunned by the sight, Pat assumed he was having a “Charlotte’s Web” hallucination and asked “Templeton” to drag him to the surface. Although confused by Pat’s remarks, Refuse did as he asked.
At the dishwashing station, Lois confronted Santiago about his visit to the singles bar. As they argued, Lois blamed their strained relationship on the fact that she was a prisoner in this restaurant. Santiago suggested that she free herself by escaping through the catacombs.
As Nipsey and the Professor climbed back up into W.T. Friday’s, she thanked him for saving her. The Professor replied that he was going to continue saving her…he was prepared to do whatever it takes to make her life better, even if he had to take over the restaurant himself. Seeing Pat’s usual table empty, the guilt-ridden Nipsey confessed that Pat had indeed been with her in the catacombs. The Professor responded by replacing the manhole cover and saying “He can stay down there.”
Perry was showing Cece around the restaurant. She felt right at home, and mentioned that she was between jobs. Perry gave her a job interview, using D&D terminology. Cece rolled a 20-sided die, and successfully landed the position.
Underground, Pat asked Refuse to use his sense of smell to find Nipsey. After homing in on her scent, Refuse began to follow it, but was taken aback when Pat didn’t follow him. Pat explained that he couldn’t bear to face his daughter. (“I’d rather die a mystery to her than face her a failure.”) Refuse agreed to leave Pat behind, but swore he’d bring Nipsey back to him.
TO BE CONTINUED…
In the aftermath of the basement explosion, Michael Cash was rummaging through the rubble in search of Nipsey and Pat Anderson. He was surprised to encounter an old friend…the talking rat Refuse V. Torvelson. As Michael explained that his friends might be dead, Refuse pointed out that the explosion had destroyed his home as well. Enraged by Refuse’s selfishness, Michael declared that the rat was no longer welcome at W.T. Friday’s. When Refuse pointed out that he’d never BEEN welcome at the restaurant, Michael replied that he was now double-unwelcome. They eventually arrived at an agreement: If Refuse used his powerful sense of smell to track Nipsey and Pat, Michael would allow him to live underneath the restaurant and bring him canned food.
Grief-stricken by Nipsey’s possible death, Perry Fippler was consoled by Santiago, who introduced him to the time-honored Mexican tradition of dealing with grief: Tequila. Tasting it, Perry observed that it tasted like a dead donkey’s butthole; Santiago explained that that was how it was aged. Perry lamented that he felt lost and abandoned, just like Sandra Bullock. Santiago suggested Perry work through his sorrow by role-playing as the Oscar-winning actress. Santiago got carried away with the charade, and began hitting on Perry just the way he would with the real Sandra Bullock: “If our lovemaking goes below 55 miles per hour, we’ll explode!”
Meanwhile, Lois was STILL tied up when the Professor heard her cries and found her. She explained that she had survived by chewing the same piece of gum for an entire week, though she had also soiled herself several times over. Being homeless, the Professor was able to withstand the smell as he freed her. Lois remembered that the Professor had shot Chief Barto in order to save her…but then he dragged away Barto’s body and didn’t come back. The Professor apologetically explained that he got caught up in Mass Effect 2 and forgot all about her.
As for Nipsey and Pat, they had survived the blast (thanks to Pat’s CIA training) and had made their way to Pat’s secret underground catacombs. Although Pat had lost the map to the surface, he could tell from the soil’s sulfur content that they must be near the restaurant. Pat assured Nipsey that he would get her back to the surface. (“I won’t let your child be born underground!” Pat mused how much Nipsey reminded him of his own daughter, who doesn’t even know he exists…much as Nipsey must feel towards her own father who she never knew. Nipsey did not get the hint.
Santiago had carried Perry to a singles bar to take his mind off his grief. Seeing a beautiful woman sitting by herself, Santiago encouraged Nipsey to talk to her…but knowing Perry’s tendency to ramble, he gave Perry an earpiece so he could guide her through the conversation Cyrano-style. Despite Santiago’s best intentions, Perry still rephrased all of Santiago’s lines into his usual Perry-speak. Perry began rambling about online videogames; much to his surprise, the woman understood exactly what he was talking about. She introduced herself as Cece, but added that her screen name is “Mylittlepony.” Recognizing her name from his games, Perry identified himself as “VHSNerd101.” Thrilled to meet a woman he could relate to in his own words, Perry removed the earpiece and began speaking for himself. Opening a bottle of 5-year donkey-ass tequila, Perry proposed a toast: “Here’s to meeting new friends…and pwning them.”
Lois was trying “Good Touch/Bad Touch” with Michael in his office, when Michael protested that he didn’t have time for their games anymore; he was too busy with his own physiotherapy and trying to get the restaurant back in order. Lois lamented that she was losing Santiago, and Michael pointed out that it might have something to do with the fact that she was sleeping with Michael. She countered that she was only doing so for revenge, and Michael wondered why they kept on sleeping together when neither of them enjoyed it. Lois complained that Michael had grown cold, and he replied that he had to make himself hard and cold to run a restaurant. Then he sentenced her to 20 lashes.
Searching for clues in the underground tunnels, Refuse V. Torvelson ran into the Professor, who was understandably freaked out by the sight of a talking rat. Refuse tried to allay the Professor’s fears, explaining that Michael had asked him to find Nipsey and Pat. Agreeing to help, the Professor climbed onto Refuse’s back and rode him off to the rescue.
Hopelessly lost in the catacombs, Pat Anderson took a Sudoko break as Nipsey complained about his incompetence. They got into a heated argument, ending with Pat asking where she inherited her temperament. He then suggested that they split up. When Nipsey pointed out that one of them would certainly die if they separated, Pat simply replied “Well, good knowing you.”
Perry went to Michael’s office and told him about his meeting with Cece. Michael asked if Cece had any experience as a server, since they needed a replacement for Nipsey. Perry was disturbed by the thought of replacing Nipsey, so Michael instructed him to take all his feelings for Nipsey, crush them into a little ball, and stick them up his ass for five years to make a fine tequila.
Wandering through the catacombs, the Professor found Nipsey. When she asked if he could find the way out, he informed her that they were directly underneath the W.T. Friday’s restroom. He reached up and dislodged the manhole cover, then asked “Wait, wasn’t there somebody with you?” Nipsey replied that she was alone.
Elsewhere in the catacombs, Pat encountered Refuse V. Torvelson. Stunned by the sight, Pat assumed he was having a “Charlotte’s Web” hallucination and asked “Templeton” to drag him to the surface. Although confused by Pat’s remarks, Refuse did as he asked.
At the dishwashing station, Lois confronted Santiago about his visit to the singles bar. As they argued, Lois blamed their strained relationship on the fact that she was a prisoner in this restaurant. Santiago suggested that she free herself by escaping through the catacombs.
As Nipsey and the Professor climbed back up into W.T. Friday’s, she thanked him for saving her. The Professor replied that he was going to continue saving her…he was prepared to do whatever it takes to make her life better, even if he had to take over the restaurant himself. Seeing Pat’s usual table empty, the guilt-ridden Nipsey confessed that Pat had indeed been with her in the catacombs. The Professor responded by replacing the manhole cover and saying “He can stay down there.”
Perry was showing Cece around the restaurant. She felt right at home, and mentioned that she was between jobs. Perry gave her a job interview, using D&D terminology. Cece rolled a 20-sided die, and successfully landed the position.
Underground, Pat asked Refuse to use his sense of smell to find Nipsey. After homing in on her scent, Refuse began to follow it, but was taken aback when Pat didn’t follow him. Pat explained that he couldn’t bear to face his daughter. (“I’d rather die a mystery to her than face her a failure.”) Refuse agreed to leave Pat behind, but swore he’d bring Nipsey back to him.
TO BE CONTINUED…
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