Guest-starring Mary Kraft as Sandra Seaver and Chris Blair as Chick Starley!
Episode 20: Wedding Bell Blues
Dennis the vulture was working the front desk when Colonel Buttry Butts, Mad Dog’s long-lost, separated-at-birth conjoined twin brother arrived, looking for Mad Dog. Dennis broke the news that Mad Dog had been fired into the sun last week, but the Colonel didn’t believe him. So, Dennis gave him a ridiculously overpriced room.
Celeste was preparing for the wedding with her hearing-impaired sister Sandra Seaver, who was going to perform the ceremony as an ordained Baptist minister. Sandra was shocked to learn that Bert wasn’t Baptist, but all was forgiven once she found out he had a nice ass.
Bert and Cecil were also preparing for the wedding. Bert asked Cecil to be his best man, and assured him (or tried to, anyway) that Celeste would never replace his mother. Cecil told Bert that he’d found great confidence since becoming the Chosen One, adding that he now knew everything, including the future. Bert tried to get Cecil to tell him how the marriage would work out, but Cecil convinced him to take the future on faith.
Dr. Weeds and ShiShi were out on a date. Dr. Weeds warned ShiShi not to get too excited about the wedding, since he was plotting revenge against Bert by ruining it. ShiShi tried to persuade Weeds to give his evil ways a rest and let his enemy have a shot at happiness. Weeds began kissing ShiShi’s arm, suggesting that they ride off in Bert’s limo. ShiShi started to give in.
Dr. Buddy and 111x9 were having an argument in their alien lair. Distraught over Mad Dog’s death, Buddy blamed 111x9 for spoiling their relationship. Buddy declared “You’re no son, you’re no son of mine” and threw 111x9 out.
Dennis was still at the front desk when Chick Starley arrived. Dennis was so starstruck that he offered Chick the best room in the hotel, even though it meant kicking Col. Butts out. Chick asked about Celeste (although he couldn’t get her name right). When Dennis told him Celeste was getting married, Chick showed him a letter she sent him (in braille) telling him “No matter what happens, I’m all yours.” Dennis warned Chick that Celeste’s husband-to-be was a big man in the mafia (“Not that there is such a thing”), but Chick was unimpressed, having taken down the mob in “Danger Cop 4.”
Dr. Weeds met Col. Butts. When the Colonel asked Weeds if he had seen Mad Dog, Weeds showed him the sun and explained that Mad Dog had sacrificed himself to reignite it. This time, Col. Butts believed the story, and was heartbroken by the sad news. Dr. Weeds suggested they split a bottle of Mad Dog 20-20 in his brother’s memory.
All dressed up in her bridesmaid’s gown, ShiShi was decorating the lounge with Sandra. Sandra reminisced about the last time she visited the Gregorio, recalling how Mad Dog kept pouring liquor down her throat and then, next thing she knew, she woke up in the panhandle of Oklahoma. ShiShi sadly informed Sandra of Mad Dog’s death, and they went behind the bar to drink to his memory. Boy, did they drink to his memory!
Dr. Weeds and Col. Butts couldn’t find any Mad Dog 20-20, so they sat down with four bottles of Little Kings Creamy Brew and drank them in rapid succession.
Celeste was nervously waiting in her room when Chick Starley knocked on the door. After Chick got over the initial shock of realizing she could see, Celeste tried to shoo him out of her room. Chick showed her the letter, explaining “You sent it to my manager, Erich Mees.” Celeste denied having written the letter. Chick tried to use the patented Starley charm on Celeste, but it had no effect on her. Finally, Celeste offered to fix Chick up with her sister Sandra.
Dennis was shopping for wedding gifts with Bert. After buttering up Bert with some flattery, Dennis asked to be the best man. When Bert explained that he’d given that position to Cecil, Dennis threw a tantrum and started tossing things around. Dennis launched into a heated, emotional rant, and Bert responded with a calm, cool-headed threat. Dennis then asked “And who will feed upon YOUR carcass when you’re dead?”
Cecil was at the front desk when a tearful 111x9 came by. Being the Chosen One, Cecil knew that Dr. Buddy had thrown 111x9 out. Cecil initially gloated over 111x9’s misfortune (not to mention the head wound from when Cecil shot him last week), but his heart softened when 111x9 told him all he wanted was a little love. Cecil reassured 111x9 that Dr. Buddy was going to die soon, then he invited the boy to be the ring-bearer at the wedding.
Colonel Buttry Butts met Dr. Buddy, who mistook him for Mad Dog. After Col. Butts explained that he was Mad Dog’s brother, Dr. Buddy introduced himself as Mad Dog’s lover. The Colonel was dismayed to learn that his brother had been a “man-kisser.” Upset by Col. Butts’ homophobic attitude, Buddy exchanged some heated words with him. Finally, Dr. Buddy pulled out his lightsaber, and Col. Butts raised his cane in defense.
Cecil was waiting in the lounge when Dr. Weeds arrived. Dr. Weeds suddenly pulled a gun, explaining to Cecil that this would surely ruin Bert’s big day. Weeds fired five times, but Cecil was totally unaffected. Weeds realized that Cecil was indeed the Chosen One, and dropped to his knees in awe. Cecil explained to Weeds that he had foreseen Weeds’ disruption of the wedding, and that he approved. Just then, everybody arrived to begin the ceremony. As Bert was thanking the guests, Chick Starley came in. Consumed by jealous fury, Bert demanded to know what Chick was doing there. Dr. Weeds revealed that he had sent the letter inviting Chick. Bert ordered Cecil to kill Dr. Weeds, but Cecil shot Bert instead. Just then, Celeste began walking up the aisle. Gravely wounded but determined to go through with the wedding, Bert got to his feet and staggered up the aisle as Sandra began the ceremony. Suddenly, Dr. Buddy and Colonel Butts charged in, still engaged in their swordfight.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Showing posts with label sandra seaver. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sandra seaver. Show all posts
Monday, October 6, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Season 3, Episode 10: I Love the Smell of Brunswick in the Morning
Guest-starring Mary Kraft as Sandra Seaver.
Episode 10: I Love the Smell of Brunswick in the Morning
Mad Dog returned from his long absence to find many changes…the first of which was Vladimir’s new hair. To express his grief over Bitsy Caponé’s stabbing, Vladimir grew his hair out and started a heavy-metal band, “Gulag.” Mad Dog liked the idea, and asked to join as the band’s drummer. Mad Dog revealed where he’d been these past few weeks: he was in his room the whole time.
Wrongfully imprisoned for stabbing Bitsy, Celeste got a surprise visit from her deaf, Southern Baptist sister Sandra Seaver. The two had an emotional discussion in their special, personal sign language.
An excitable Ebenezer showed Tillie the severed gorilla’s head he found in his bed, but was disappointed when Tillie told him it was just a Halloween mask. They discussed the big Jewish conference coming to the hotel. Tillie asked Ebenezer what “Jewish” meant to him, and the elderly spectre cheerfully rattled off a list of stereotypes.
Dr. Weeds and Bert Caponé met in the garden. Bert was still in shock over his wife’s stabbing and Celeste’s arrest. Dr. Weeds (the true culprit, in case you missed episode 9) said that he had seen Celeste do it with his own eye. Bert was also disappointed that Cecil had done nothing to either stand up for himself or avenge the attack on his mother. Dr. Weeds promised Bert: “In 24 hours, if Cecil isn’t on our side or dead, I’ll make sure he’s dead.”
ShiShi anxiously tried to tell Cecil that she had nothing to do with Bitsy’s stabbing. Cecil assured her that he knew she was innocent, though his reassurance was undermined by the fact that he accidentally called her “Celeste.” A shaken ShiShi said she had enough identity problems already. She told him her real name and talked about her past, growing up in Brunswick. Cecil confessed that he loved the smell of Brunswick.
Bert visited Celeste in her cell and asked if she stabbed his wife. Celeste was hurt that Bert could even think of asking her that question. She assured him she couldn’t hurt a fly, and Bert replied “I know. That’s why I love you. I never said that to anyone before. Well, I told my son once, but he was asleep, so that doesn’t count.” Celeste asked Bert to take her cats to PetSmart and get their picture taken with the Easter Bunny.
Sandra Seaver tried to check into the hotel. Vladimir initially booked her as “Nanra Neamer,” but eventually straightened everything out. The phone rang, and Vladimir talked with a guy named Randy about booking his band.
ShiShi sang “Crazy” to Mad Dog in the lounge. They were both distraught over the recent developments and the hotel’s impending closing. Declaring himself a “pro-active drunk,” Mad Dog resolved to take action.
Tillie met Sandra at the ice machine in the hallway. After learning that Sandra was deaf, Tillie said that she’d been taking sign-language lessons on-line. However, since Sandra only understood the private sign-language she and Celeste worked out, they still couldn’t communicate. Tillie brought Sandra to her room and showed her the closed-captioning on the TV set. After all this, they finally got around to introducing themselves.
Vladimir strummed and tuned his guitar until a string broke.
Ebenezer was practicing his ghostly powers by floating around the hallway (albeit a very low-flying float). He ran into Cecil, and was surprised by Cecil’s new look. Then Ebenezer remembered that he had sworn vengeance on the entire Caponé family. He leapt upon Cecil and unleashed his undead fury, to no apparent effect. Cecil assured Ebenezer that he wasn’t like the rest of his family, and that Bert is their real enemy.
Vladimir continued practicing his guitar until Bert came in to complain about the noise. After they argued about the guitar, Bert admitted his conflicted feelings about Celeste. Vladimir showed Bert a paper he found…a note, supposedly from Celeste, filled with murderous, enraged ranting about Bitsy. Vladimir thought this “confession” could make a good song for Gulag.
After visiting a friend in prison, Dr. Weeds happened to pass Celeste’s cell. When she proclaimed her innocence, Weeds again claimed to have seen her stab Bitsy. Celeste raised the possibility of a look-alike, “’cause I sure don’t remember doing it!” Cecil arrived with a flower for Celeste. Celeste urged Dr. Weeds to tell Cecil about her look-alike theory, but instead, Weeds taunted Cecil by describing his mother’s stabbing in graphic detail. Enraged, Cecil pulled out his gun. Dr. Weeds took the barrel in his mouth.
Sandra Seaver came into the bar to order a Shirley Temple. Mad Dog mistook her for a “def” rapper and forced her to drink hard liquor to fit her “hardcore gangsta” image.
ShiShi was sitting in the garden, pondering the way things were and the way they might be. Dennis the vulture crowed to her, and ShiShi realized she could understand him. She had a tender conversation with Dennis (“Don’t you remember what it was to want to sing instead of caw?”), touching the vulture’s little heart. She asked Dennis for advice, and he crowed out a “downright diabolical” plan.
Bert ran into Cecil outside the prison. Cecil told his father that he had just splattered Dr. Weeds all over the walls because Weeds had stabbed Bitsy. Bert told Cecil about the note from Celeste, then backed up: “Wait a minute, you killed Dr. Weeds?” Cecil shrugged.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Episode 10: I Love the Smell of Brunswick in the Morning
Mad Dog returned from his long absence to find many changes…the first of which was Vladimir’s new hair. To express his grief over Bitsy Caponé’s stabbing, Vladimir grew his hair out and started a heavy-metal band, “Gulag.” Mad Dog liked the idea, and asked to join as the band’s drummer. Mad Dog revealed where he’d been these past few weeks: he was in his room the whole time.
Wrongfully imprisoned for stabbing Bitsy, Celeste got a surprise visit from her deaf, Southern Baptist sister Sandra Seaver. The two had an emotional discussion in their special, personal sign language.
An excitable Ebenezer showed Tillie the severed gorilla’s head he found in his bed, but was disappointed when Tillie told him it was just a Halloween mask. They discussed the big Jewish conference coming to the hotel. Tillie asked Ebenezer what “Jewish” meant to him, and the elderly spectre cheerfully rattled off a list of stereotypes.
Dr. Weeds and Bert Caponé met in the garden. Bert was still in shock over his wife’s stabbing and Celeste’s arrest. Dr. Weeds (the true culprit, in case you missed episode 9) said that he had seen Celeste do it with his own eye. Bert was also disappointed that Cecil had done nothing to either stand up for himself or avenge the attack on his mother. Dr. Weeds promised Bert: “In 24 hours, if Cecil isn’t on our side or dead, I’ll make sure he’s dead.”
ShiShi anxiously tried to tell Cecil that she had nothing to do with Bitsy’s stabbing. Cecil assured her that he knew she was innocent, though his reassurance was undermined by the fact that he accidentally called her “Celeste.” A shaken ShiShi said she had enough identity problems already. She told him her real name and talked about her past, growing up in Brunswick. Cecil confessed that he loved the smell of Brunswick.
Bert visited Celeste in her cell and asked if she stabbed his wife. Celeste was hurt that Bert could even think of asking her that question. She assured him she couldn’t hurt a fly, and Bert replied “I know. That’s why I love you. I never said that to anyone before. Well, I told my son once, but he was asleep, so that doesn’t count.” Celeste asked Bert to take her cats to PetSmart and get their picture taken with the Easter Bunny.
Sandra Seaver tried to check into the hotel. Vladimir initially booked her as “Nanra Neamer,” but eventually straightened everything out. The phone rang, and Vladimir talked with a guy named Randy about booking his band.
ShiShi sang “Crazy” to Mad Dog in the lounge. They were both distraught over the recent developments and the hotel’s impending closing. Declaring himself a “pro-active drunk,” Mad Dog resolved to take action.
Tillie met Sandra at the ice machine in the hallway. After learning that Sandra was deaf, Tillie said that she’d been taking sign-language lessons on-line. However, since Sandra only understood the private sign-language she and Celeste worked out, they still couldn’t communicate. Tillie brought Sandra to her room and showed her the closed-captioning on the TV set. After all this, they finally got around to introducing themselves.
Vladimir strummed and tuned his guitar until a string broke.
Ebenezer was practicing his ghostly powers by floating around the hallway (albeit a very low-flying float). He ran into Cecil, and was surprised by Cecil’s new look. Then Ebenezer remembered that he had sworn vengeance on the entire Caponé family. He leapt upon Cecil and unleashed his undead fury, to no apparent effect. Cecil assured Ebenezer that he wasn’t like the rest of his family, and that Bert is their real enemy.
Vladimir continued practicing his guitar until Bert came in to complain about the noise. After they argued about the guitar, Bert admitted his conflicted feelings about Celeste. Vladimir showed Bert a paper he found…a note, supposedly from Celeste, filled with murderous, enraged ranting about Bitsy. Vladimir thought this “confession” could make a good song for Gulag.
After visiting a friend in prison, Dr. Weeds happened to pass Celeste’s cell. When she proclaimed her innocence, Weeds again claimed to have seen her stab Bitsy. Celeste raised the possibility of a look-alike, “’cause I sure don’t remember doing it!” Cecil arrived with a flower for Celeste. Celeste urged Dr. Weeds to tell Cecil about her look-alike theory, but instead, Weeds taunted Cecil by describing his mother’s stabbing in graphic detail. Enraged, Cecil pulled out his gun. Dr. Weeds took the barrel in his mouth.
Sandra Seaver came into the bar to order a Shirley Temple. Mad Dog mistook her for a “def” rapper and forced her to drink hard liquor to fit her “hardcore gangsta” image.
ShiShi was sitting in the garden, pondering the way things were and the way they might be. Dennis the vulture crowed to her, and ShiShi realized she could understand him. She had a tender conversation with Dennis (“Don’t you remember what it was to want to sing instead of caw?”), touching the vulture’s little heart. She asked Dennis for advice, and he crowed out a “downright diabolical” plan.
Bert ran into Cecil outside the prison. Cecil told his father that he had just splattered Dr. Weeds all over the walls because Weeds had stabbed Bitsy. Bert told Cecil about the note from Celeste, then backed up: “Wait a minute, you killed Dr. Weeds?” Cecil shrugged.
TO BE CONTINUED…
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