Season 3, Episode 23: Sometimes Jokes Come True

And now, the thrilling finale!

Episode 23: Sometimes Jokes Come True

The real Cecil Caponé returned, revealing that something had gone wrong with the anesthesia during his plastic surgery, putting him in a coma for three months. He woke up penniless, with all of his identification stolen, but now he was back to reclaim his birthright.

Celeste was cleaning up in the lobby when record producer Danny Corntaster came in, looking for ShiShi. He introduced himself and explained that he wanted to sign ShiShi to his label, Cracktone Records. Celeste was thrilled by the good news. She offered a little demonstration of her own musical talents by singing “The Girl from Ipanema,” and asked Corntaster to keep her in mind as a possible backup singer.

Meanwhile, ShiShi finished her set in the lounge. Dennis congratulated her on her brilliant performance, and observed that true love seemed to inspire better songs than broken hearts. ShiShi agreed that love is “soft as an easy chair,” and used that as a springboard for an elaborate metaphor about her relationship with Dr. Weeds. ShiShi explained that she always sang to work through her pain, and with her upcoming wedding plans, soon she’d have no pain to work through. ShiShi said that she used music to “prey on people’s pain and sadness,” comparing herself to the vulture. Then she tickled Dennis’ tummy.

Bert was talking to MovieFone when the real Cecil arrived. Bert was shocked to see his son back with his original face. Cecil explained what had happened to him, and in turn, Bert explained that an impostor had taken Cecil’s place and was running the Caponé empire. Bert brought Cecil up to speed on some of the important things he’d missed: his mother’s death, Mad Dog’s death, and the temporary destruction of the sun. Bert questioned whether the person he was talking to was really Cecil or another impostor. Cecil tried to prove his identity by recounting a childhood incident when he threw up on Bert’s shoes after riding the Tilt-a-Whirl at Seven Flags over Denver.

Dr. Weeds was booking a room at the Luxor Hotel for his honeymoon, when Dr. Buddy and the other Cecil (The Chosen One) entered. Dr. Weeds told them all about his wedding plans, then showed them the humongous diamond ring he had gotten for ShiShi. He invited them both to the wedding, and asked the Chosen One if he would perform the ceremony. The Chosen One was so moved that he had to leave the room.

Danny Corntaster finally found ShiShi and told her he’d heard her demo tape. He explained that he’d had trouble finding her because her return address in Brunswick no longer existed, but now that he’d tracked her down, he wanted to offer her a “standard celebrity contract” for five albums with Cracktone Records. ShiShi was too thrilled for words.

Celeste was talking to Bert about their plans to have a baby. She explained that she’d read that the chances of conception were better when the man’s blood pressure was elevated. She continued explaining that, while she had her sight back, Sandra and ShiShi had taken her to the Clermont Lounge for her bachelorette party. Celeste showed Bert the moves she’d picked up, and then they rushed to the bedroom to make a baby.

Dr. Buddy visited Dennis’ birdhouse. Buddy explained that he’d heard that Dennis was going to be Dr. Weeds’ best man, and he wanted Dennis to pass along Buddy’s wedding present to Weeds. He showed Dennis a hologram of Dr. Weeds, then asked “Doesn’t it remind you of an icebox?” Dennis was puzzled until Dr. Buddy reminded him about the post-hypnotic command Buddy gave him back in episode 18, to kill the first person he saw after he heard the word “icebox.” The command took effect, and Dennis obeyed it…by lunging at Dr. Buddy’s throat.

Hanging around outside the Matchlight Theatre, the Chosen One overheard a few conversations among the Season One characters. The real Cecil arrived and confronted him about his theft of Cecil’s identity. The Chosen One reminded Cecil of all those times Cecil had wished to be someone else, and explained that he had granted that wish. He’d given Cecil the opportunity to start over, but now he’s just come back to his old life instead. “What are you, the Trophy Genie?” Cecil asked. The Chosen One said “Yes.” Cecil said that if that was true, then he had one wish left. He wanted to take over the Caponé empire like he was supposed to. The Chosen One replied: “You’ve had thirty years to do that! I did it in six months!” The Chosen One was perfectly willing to depart, but warned Cecil: “You’ll have to deal with your life.”

Dr. Weeds and ShiShi were going over china patterns for their wedding. Weeds gave ShiShi the huge diamond ring, and she was awestruck. Suddenly, Danny Corntaster knocked on the door. ShiShi explained to Weeds that Cracktone Records had offered her an incredible contract, but if she took it, she would have to move to L.A. Even worse, Corntaster didn’t think being married would suit ShiShi’s image. Rather than stand in the way of her lifelong dream, Dr. Weeds reluctantly stepped aside.

Bert and Celeste were basking in the afterglow when the two Cecils arrived. The real Cecil told his father that the impostor had some kind of mind-clouding power, that he had even made him believe that ridiculous “Trophy Genie” story. Bert revealed that all he’d ever wanted was for Cecil to take his proper place in the Caponé family…then he took out the trophy and thanked the Chosen One. Yes, the Chosen One truly was the Trophy Genie.

The Real Cecil: “But I was just joking!”
Bert: “Sometimes jokes come true.”

The whole switch had been in answer to Bert’s wish, not Cecil’s. Since Cecil had never proven capable of taking over, the Chosen One had done it in his place, and now he was ready for Cecil to move into the opening. Cecil accepted. The Chosen One prepared to depart, but Bert stopped him and mentioned all the things that needed to be fixed: the destruction of Brunswick, the death of Mad Dog Maddox…oh, and Vladimir, too.

The Chosen One: “I AM all-powerful, but just to teach you a lesson, you can choose only one.”

The responsibility of the final wish fell on Cecil’s shoulders. After struggling with the decision, Cecil chose to restore Brunswick. The Chosen One phoned up some unknown powers and said “Yeah, bring it back.” The Chosen One vanished, leaving only his robe behind.

Dennis dragged Dr. Buddy back to Dr. Weeds’ garden and explained about Buddy’s plan to make Dennis kill Weeds. Dr. Buddy denied it, claiming he only wanted to show Weeds the hologram as a wedding present. Dr. Weeds informed them there wasn’t going to be a wedding, since he wasn’t going to stand in the way of ShiShi’s fame. Dr. Buddy suggested that they force ShiShi into the marriage. Dennis scolded Dr. Buddy, reminding him that he used to be a caring psychotherapist, and that Dr. Weeds needed the old Dr. Buddy now. Dr. Weeds said that he’d forced many people to do many things in the past, but now he wanted ShiShi to want him for herself. In response to this statement, Dennis started singing “I Want You to Want Me.” Dr. Weeds glared at Dennis. Dennis shut up, but the audience kept on singing.

ShiShi and Danny Corntaster were on the bus to L.A. when Dr. Weeds came running up alongside it. Dr. Weeds shot out the tires to stop the bus. Inside, ShiShi was deeply torn between singing stardom and the man she loved. Outside, Dr. Weeds reminded ShiShi how he had put on his eyepatch in response to his wife’s death, because he thought he’d never look at anything beautiful again. Then he yanked off his patch and declared that he wanted to look at her for the rest of his life. ShiShi told Corntaster that she now realized she didn’t need the love of the masses…just the love of one man. She tore up the contract, got off the bus and had an emotional reunion with Dr. Weeds. Suddenly, Bert and Cecil ran up to the bus and yanked Danny Corntaster out at gunpoint. The Caponés then executed Corntaster for having produced “The Thong Song.”

Nine months later, ShiShi and Celeste gave birth simultaneously. As a tribute to his feathered friend, Dr. Weeds announced that they were naming their child “Dennis Jr.” (ShiShi: “She’ll get over it in time.”) Bert and Celeste named their son “Christian.”

THE END

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