Season 14, Episode 11: Are You Confronting Me?

Episode 11: Are You Confronting Me?

Stoolts attempted to make peace with the mime Michel Jacquesonne, despite the longstanding mime/clown rivalry. Michel wanted no part of Stoolts’ reconciliation, explaing that his mind is full of demons, fire, and hate. Nevertheless, Stoolts suggested that they go into business together, making sexy Popsicles with flirty messages on the sticks. The thought of capitalism relieved the demons in Michel’s head.

Seeking advice on her pregnancy, bearded lady Deb Henderson consulted the circus doctor, Dr. Root, and the circus vet, Dr. Sally Seditizer. Dr. Seditizer attempted to shoot Deb with a tranq gun (her recommended treatment for everything), but Deb dodged the darts. Dr. Root examined her and announced that she had tubercucirculosis, a rare ailment transmitted from circus animals to performers and then back again. He warned her that either she or her baby would die.

Truck Tarkenton gathered the performers together to prepare them for the upcoming Super Family Night performance. When Michel asked if that meant the audience would be made up of super-heroes, Deb mime-slapped him. When Truck asked Deb to bake cookies for the patrons, she informed everybody about her diagnosis. Stoolts pondered how she might have contracted the disease and whether she’d passed it on to him…then he marveled at the fact that he’d just had a complex, relevant thought. Dr. Root recommended that they cancel Super Family Night and have a quarantine, but Truck argued that the circus couldn’t afford to cancel a performance.

Daredevil Robbie ‘Bad Decisions’ Knisions met his old friend, Las Vegas entertainer Danny Gams. They reminisced about Danny’s last performance, when he dove into a glass of water for an audience of cancer-ridden kids. Although the spectacle cured the kids, it had so damaged Danny’s kneecaps that it would be fatal for him to ever dance again…but he was willing to take that risk.

Stoolts went to consult Dr. Root with his concerns about Deb’s pregnancy and his impending fatherhood. When Stoolts explained that he feared he was too dumb to be a good father, Root reassured him that he could be the worst father in the world because kids don’t know when they’re being mistreated. Stoolts suggested making “Kids Don’t Know Any Better” the theme for Super Family Night.

Truck Tarkenton and Dr. Seditizer reflected on their secret past together…after their break-up, she left the country to forget Truck, then wound up killing seven men in Tokyo. She resolved to put him behind her, even if she had to sleep with everybody else. Truck suggested they make an act out of that.

Deb was baking some Super Family Cookies when Michel Jacquesson came by . She asked why he was so hostile towards Stoolts, and he explained that he’d been molested by clowns since childhood, so he hated all clowns. Just then, Stoolts arrived and greeted Michel warmly. When Deb expressed confusion over why Stoolts thought Michel was his friend, Michel tried to shut her up by making a sexist remark about women always talking. She responded by mime-slapping him. Seeing how Michel reacted to the imaginary slap, Stoolts tried pulling a mime-noose and was greatly amused as Michel began choking. Changing the subject, Stoolts asked Deb why there was always a man in her trailer every time he stops by. Just then, Truck came in for his nooner.

Later, Truck was getting ready for the show when Dr. Root came in to inform him that he had enough antidote for all but one person. When Truck asked if that meant it boiled down to choosing between Deb and her baby, Root realized he hadn’t figured the baby into his calculations, which meant it was out of luck in any case. Just then, Robbie came in. Examining him, Dr. Root declared that Robbie’s temperature was so high that he could spontaneously combust at any moment. Truck considered working that into the act. Robbie then asked Truck to cut Danny from the show for the sake of Danny’s life, just as Danny came in and overheard. Furious, Danny insisted that he be allowed to perform even if it kills him.

Dr. Root and Dr. Seditizer were practicing their interpretive-dance act, while simultaneously Robbie and Danny were having a heart-to-heart talk. Robbie confessed that he had slept with Danny’s wife in an effort to make Danny too sad to perform. Danny replied that he wanted Robbie and his wife to be together…in fact, he’d left her to Robbie in his will. Danny had also put in his will that if he comes back as a zombie, he wants Robbie to kill him. Danny was at peace with the thought of dying…he just wanted to go out on the most spectacular performance ever.

Truck and Stoolts had the shortest confrontation in history. (“Are you confronting me, motherfucker?”)

After performing his mime routine and taking a bow, Michel Jacquesson informed the audience that they’d been infected with tubercucirculosis. Truck rushed in to confront Michel for giving away the secret. (“You better not be fucking confronting me.”)

Deb was distributing her cookies to the audience when Stoolts arrived, jealous that she was giving her attention to crowds now. Angrily, she informed him that he was terrible in bed, so she had to go elsewhere for satisfaction. Stoolts declared that he wanted her to see his real self, as he rubbed off his make-up and threw down his nose and helmet.

Preparing for his final number, Danny Gams picked up Stoolts’ red nose and reflected on how his late father always wanted him to be a clown. He broke into a song about his father and his own impending death.

Dr. Root brought everyone together to discuss the medical situation. (“Are you confronting us, motherfucker?”) Root revealed that Stoolts was going to die…and not only that, Stoolts’ sperm was toxic and everyone who’s come in contact with it was contaminated. Robbie suggested that, like snakebite, the venom could be sucked out. Deb did so. Furious, Truck shouted that Root had broken their deal; he was supposed to make sure that the disease only killed Deb’s baby. As Deb and Stoolts reeled from this shocking news, Truck strangled Dr. Root with his wrench. In his death throes, Root dropped his vial of antidote to the ground…but since it was an unbreakable plastic bottle, everyone could still be cured.

Danny Gams went out for his final dance, with Robbie backing him up. At the climax of his routine, Danny clutched at his chest for a moment…then went on dancing. Robbie warned Danny that he would die if he continued. Danny replied that he HAD just died…he was now a zombie. He begged Robbie to finish him off, just as he’d put in his will. As Danny tearfully complied, Dr. Seditizer ran in, pursued by the zombie Dr. Root. Just as Dr. Root caught her and ate her brains, Michel Jacquesson rushed in and destroyed Dr. Root with a mime shotgun.

Deb was packing up her baking supplies and reflecting on how her appetite for sex had messed up her life. She’d decided to go back home to Chatsworth, where she couldn’t hurt anything. Meanwhile, Stoolts was packing up his own stuff and pondering his own life. Since they were in adjoining tents, they heard each other’s monologues and decided to turn them into a dialogue. Stoolts told her that he understood her sexual desires, and if he couldn’t satisfy them, he’d be happy to let her turn to other people (as long as he could watch). They declared their love for each other. Truck, overhearing their reconciliation, began his own monologue about his plan to claim Deb’s baby for himself…even if he has to take it out of her.

TO BE CONTINUED…