Episode 8: The Old Switcheroo
Having killed Friar Kack to protect herself, Chambliss Tucker was cleaning the brain matter up at the pub when Magic Jones entered. Jones noticed that Chambliss was wearing King Plough’s crown, and she explained that she’d taken it off his head and declared herself queen, since Plough was in no condition to rule. Jones asked if she had married the King, and she replied that she had, although Plough might not remember it. Jones warned her that the King might not want her as his queen when he recovers, but agreed to support her in the meantime.
Kalgon paid a visit to the cave of Francis of the Rock People (who had put on a great deal of weight). Kalgon explained that he wanted to rule for the good of the people, not for his own ambition; Kalgon loved his father, but needed to kill him for the greater good. They talked about the way Chambliss had seized the crown while they were both fighting over it. Kalgon noticed that people were interested in the new Queen, and suggested that there was a market for news of her doings. Francis realized that they could take Chambliss down with gossip.
The demon Prick brought the mentally-challenged King Plough to Baron Üterrüs. The Baron realized that the King was no longer in possession of his faculties…meaning that Üterrüs could possess Plough’s faculties himself!
At the castle, Magic Jones was performing a spell to relieve his angina, when an unexpected side-effect occurred: A hole opened in the space-time continuum, and Chambliss’ husband Skip Tucker suddenly appeared before him. When Jones introduced himself, Skip assumed that he’d somehow wandered into a Renaissance Festival, and decided to play along.
Kalgon visited Chambliss Tucker in her Lincoln Navigator. Kalgon jotted down notes about what Chambliss was wearing and drinking, then asked her what was the hardest part of being Queen (her reply: “Getting started.”). Kalgon decided that he’d gotten enough, and left.
Francis went to Linens Und Thïngs and met Prick. Francis asked Prick whether his rights were being respected. Prick didn’t understand this political talk, but when Francis explained what oppression was, Prick realized that he was indeed oppressed. Francis asked Prick what his dream was, and Prick replied that his heart’s desire was his own apartment, with a futon and a lamp of lava. Francis assured him that he had the right to realize that dream.
Baron Üterrüs brought King Plough up to Skank Mountain to perform the spell of possession. To prepare him for the spell, the Baron sang Plough to sleep with a sweet, sensitive lullaby about buttercups and rainbows. Once Plough was asleep, Üterrüs banished the happy music and began the spell.
Kalgon asked Magic Jones for access to the royal printing press, where he printed the first edition of his new tabloid, “Sure Talksalot.” Kalgon and Jones reminisced about old times and their ever-changing relationship.
KALGON: “Remember when we were teenagers, and we’d dress up in women’s clothes, just for fun? Y’know?”
Skip Tucker was wandering through the woods when he encountered Baron Üterrüs, whose body was now possessed by King Plough’s mind. Üterrüs/Plough offered to lead Skip to where the elf lives. Thinking he’d encountered a mentally challenged RenFest participant, Skip humored him.
Meanwhile, King Plough’s body, possessed by Üterrüs’ mind, visited Chambliss Tucker. Chambliss was amazed by Plough’s miraculous recovery, not to mention his new accent. Their conversation was interrupted when they heard Kalgon nailing his new tabloid to the door. Kalgon left before they came out and discovered the front page, featuring a naked drawing of Chambliss leaning on the hood of her car. Chambliss was aghast, protesting that she tries never to be naked if she can help it. Plough/Üterrüs swore vengeance on whomever had offended his love.
Francis led Prick to the apartment of his dreams, complete with a lamp of lava and an imp-sized futon. Moved by Francis’ dedication and generosity, Prick agreed to join him in the fight for the oppressed masses. Prick gave their movement a name (“Serfs Up”) and a motto (“I am a minion! I have an opinion!”).
Kalgon was posting the tabloid outside the castle when Skip Tucker came by and recognized the woman on the front page. (“Chambliss is here, and posing for erotic woodcuts!”) Kalgon filled Skip in on what had happened to Chambliss, but most of it went over Skip’s head. Kalgon put on his enchanted mask (last seen in episode 1) and told Skip to seek out Chambliss in the castle. When Kalgon removed the mask, Skip did not remember the conversation, but still followed his command.
King Plough/Baron Üterrüs went to see Magic Jones, explaining that he had been hit on the head once again, thus restoring his mind. However, Jones quickly saw through the ruse, recognizing Üterrüs’ accent and attitude in Plough’s body. Jones swore to use his newfound power of the press to expose the impostor and then switch them back.
Francis and Prick found Üterrüs/Plough in the forest, and attacked the “oppressor.” They were taken aback when the voice of the mentally challenged king emerged from the baron’s body. Francis realized what had happened, and they decided to make Üterrüs/Plough part of their movement; they would fight for the rights of the retarded as well as the proletariat. While Francis and Prick discussed this, Üterrüs/Plough wandered off.
Chambliss Tucker was in the throne room, plotting revenge on Kalgon, when her husband Skip came in. They had a tearful reunion, and she explained what had happened to her. Skip was upset that she’d thrown herself so wholeheartedly into this Renaissance Festival act. A unicorn wandered into the room, and Skip finally realized that this wasn’t a RenFest. The portal to Skip & Chambliss’ own time opened, and Skip begged her to come back to her family. When Chambliss couldn’t bring herself to leave, Skip agreed to stay with her. The unicorn went through the portal instead.
TO BE CONTINUED…