Episode 3: With a Song (and a Knife) in My Heart
Raymond Milk (recovering from 14 ½ stab wounds) told Warden Otis Barker all about the riot that had gone down during Barker’s absence. Barker assured Raymond that there would be no repercussions over the death of Substitute Warden Linda Strunck, since she wasn’t the real warden anyway. Barker then told Raymond about his trip to Washington, where his superiors had ordered him to get tougher. Barker boasted that he’d told Superintendent Weaver where to get off…just as Weaver entered the office.
In the prison library, Rusty Trombonz was consumed with guilt over stabbing Raymond during the riot. He broke into song explaining that, in his long career as a robber, he had never committed an act of violence before. In his despair, he began stabbing the dictionary…which prompted librarian Dexter Dewey to rush in and stab Rusty’s hand to the table. Dewey warned Rusty that if he ever heard him singing again, there’d be more of the same.
Bruce Brüce and Corrections Officer Hoss Hardacre had broken out of jail and were making their way to Hoss’ home in Noonan, to prevent the murder of Hoss’ wife Martha.
Playing basketball in the exercise yard, Wayne Bo Casey and Arman Redder devised an elaborate scheme: By winning the Inmate-Guard games, they could parlay their success into a tour until they play the Harlem Globetrotters in Madison Square Garden. Once there, they could disguise themselves as concessionaires. Arman intended this as an opportunity to escape, but Wayne just saw it as a chance to slit patrons’ throats at random.
Superintendent Weaver was chewing out Barker while throwing furniture around. Weaver grabbed the PA and informed everybody that Warden Barker was fired, and declared himself King Shit of the prison.
In the cafeteria, Raymond asked Wayne to help him kill Rusty Trombonz in revenge for his stabbing. Wayne launched into a lecture about karma, explaining that Raymond deserved those 14 ½ wounds for snitching about the riot.
Ex-Warden Barker stopped by Rusty’s cell, despondent over his firing. Rusty began to offer him some advice, but when his speech segued into a song, Dexter immediately rushed in and stabbed him.
Hoss and Bruce were on the run in Midtown. Bruce told Hoss that he had to be inconspicuous and blend in by acting gay, but Hoss couldn’t figure out how to do that. Hoss decided that he wouldn’t feel gay if he pretended that Bruce was a woman. They took each other’s hand and began walking along.
Raymond was sitting in his cell when Arman Redder came by, complaining that Raymond hadn’t come through on his promise to provide a woman to bear Arman’s child. Raymond pointed out that he had indeed fulfilled his obligation by hooking Arman up with the substitute warden; it wasn’t his fault that she was burned to death in the riot. Arman warned Raymond that their business wasn’t over yet, then left as Ex-Warden Barker arrived. Raymond expressed his sympathy, reminiscing over all the good things Barker had done for the inmates…like Brownie Thursday, when Brownie troops would visit the prison to be “Scared Straight.” After Raymond made one too many suggestive comments about the Brownies, Superintendent Weaver stormed in and threw Raymond in the hole. After Weaver stormed out again, Barker went over to the hole and urged Raymond to find out Weaver’s dark secrets and deepest fear so that Barker could use it against him.
In the showers, Arman told Dewey that he’d heard about the dictionary-stabbing incident, and offered his protective services to Dewey. In return, he wanted Dewey to provide him with books about basketball…and to file a complaint against the warden.
Even the fearless Wayne Bo Casey was terrified when Superintendent Weaver visited his cell. Wayne screamed “You created me,” explaining that he’d been a normal, ordinary man until 15 years ago, when he was arrested for a traffic violation. It was Weaver’s brutality that turned Wayne into the psychotic white-faced maniac he was today.
WAYNE: “Now, I kill child stars for a living.”
WEAVER: “How do you make money off of that?”
Weaver retorted that Wayne should be grateful that Weaver transformed him from a nobody into a man known and feared by the entire world. Wayne snapped and knocked the mug from Weaver’s hand. Weaver shouted that that “coffee” mug was really filled with his favorite whiskey, then started strangling Wayne.
Hoss and Bruce arrived at Hoss’ house, then split up to prevent the murder. Bruce found the hitman and asked him to call off the hit. The hitman agreed, surprising Bruce by being so easy-going about it. Hoss found his wife and apologized for taking out a contract on her by mistake, reassuring her that he truly did still love her. As Hoss tearfully explained that he was on the run and hade to leave once again, Bruce gave the hitman a new assignment as Martha’s bodyguard. As they left, Hoss thanked Bruce for his help, but informed him that he still had to fulfill his duty as a guard and take Bruce back to jail.
Rusty was up on the roof, alone with his thoughts. Looking around to make sure Dewey was nowhere in sight, he began to sing about his feelings. Dewey immediately rushed in and attacked Rusty with a knife. Still trying to sing throughout the struggle, Rusty managed to get hold of the knife. Superintendent Weaver stomped in, shouting that nobody but him could kill anybody in his prison. Rusty threw the knife at Weaver, hitting him in the crotch (handle-first, luckily for Weaver). As Weaver doubled up, Dewey grabbed his cup and took a swig, only to discover that it was indeed real whiskey.
TO BE CONTINUED…