Episode 13: Introducing Dr. Dynamo
The students were gathered at a memorial service for Miller, who tragically plunged into molten lava during the class trip to Hawaii. (Dustin Pollack also fell into the lava, but as he was only severely burned, nobody was concerned with him.)
At the Crash Pad, “Joe Luderman” (secretly the evil German music teacher Glenn Wilfong) came to see Gwendolyn Pinchot. Gwen told “Joe” that she felt betrayed by the revelation that Joe (the real Joe, that is) was an undercover cop. (“Yes, you can lose trust in someone when they continuously lie to you.”) “Joe” told Gwen that even though his cover was blown, he would continue his work to make the school a better place for her benefit (and only hers).
School custodian Mr. Cook began the sad task of cleaning out Miller’s locker. Hearing a strange noise behind the lockers, Cook investigated and found a secret passage. Following the trail, Cook was surprised to discover the real Joe Luderman lurking in the shadows. Joe explained that, after Mr. Pinchot attempted to kill him, he went even deeper undercover to take out the evil mastermind behind everything…Glenn Wilfong.
Ms. Munsen-Meyer and Mr. Huggins were panicking, knowing that they, as the chaperones, would be blamed for Miller’s death. Munsen-Meyer came up with a plan: She had brought Miller’s remains over in her luggage, and she could persuade her coroner friend to declare that Miller actually died of a heart attack before he fell in the volcano. Excited by the danger, Huggins once again felt those romantic sparks reignite. He asked Munsen-Meyer to finally tell him her first name, and she did: Vivian.
On the roof, Gwen told the jealous Todd Schrader that she had only kissed “Joe” to thank him for saving her father from Wilfong. She went on to explain that even those feelings of gratitude had vanished when she learned he was a narc. Todd suddenly remembered that he’d heard the name “Joe Luderman” before: there was a Joe Luderman who served with his father, General Rip Schrader.
Principal Spoon stopped by Mr. Huggins’ classroom and offered him some Brazilian Clambeaver coffee (made from beans that had passed through the digestive systems of Brazilian Clambeavers), just to soften Huggins up before confronting him about Miller’s death. Huggins claimed that Miller had been eating fatty foods throughout the trip, then suddenly clutched his chest and fell into the lava. Spoon found this scenario plausible.
Wilfong was snooping around Miller’s van when Mr. Cook discovered him. Cook quizzed “Joe” on his history in an attempt to make him give away his true identity, until Wilfong got fed up and pulled out his gun. Cook tried to grab it with a jumper-cable clip, but the gun slipped out of its jaws.
In her office, Munsen-Meyer was preparing Miller’s body for her coroner friend when Principal Spoon stopped by to offer her some coffee.
Todd Schrader was kicking the ball around on the athletic field when the real Joe Luderman arrived. Todd recognized Joe from his dad’s military records, and Joe replied that he had a special message from General Schrader…a hug. Todd had never experienced such warmth from his father, even if it was coming by proxy. Joe then explained the reason General Schrader had sent him: the Brazilian government was producing Adolf Hitler clones and sending them into American public schools. Todd agreed to help take down the clone.
Principal Spoon was back by the dumpsters, searching for clues in Miller’s death, when the long-absent Assistant Coach Damon arrived. Spoon brought Damon up to date on recent events. Enraged by the news of Miller’s death, Damon declared that there was only one person who could help…Dr. Dynamo!
Now that he had turned heterosexual, Mr. Huggins asked “Joe” for some romantic advice. “Joe” gave him a few pick-up lines, then suggested that he offer the ladies some aphrodisiac Brazilian Clambeaver coffee.
Gwen was wistfully gazing at Miller’s locker when the real Joe Luderman arrived. She was confused by his new haircut, then looked in his eyes and realized he wasn’t the same Joe that she’d been giving her heart to these past few weeks. Joe informed her that Mr. Wilfong had been impersonating him, and Gwen broke down in hysterics. (“I’ve been through so much this semester!”)
Ms. Munsen-Meyer was cleaning up the last of Miller’s remains with a lint roller when Dr. Dynamo (Assistant Coach Damon’s gold-helmeted super-heroic alter ego) burst in, followed by Principal Spoon. Dr. Dynamo questioned Munsen-Meyer about Miller’s death, but she stuck to her heart-attack story. Todd Schrader stopped in for his guidance-counselor appointment, and was awestruck to see his hero. After five hours of fruitless interrogation, Dr. Dynamo suddenly noticed the lint roller; his powers detected teenage DNA on it.
Up on the roof, Mr. Cook and Todd Schrader were discussing the bizarre recent events and the need to get rid of Mr. Wilfong. Cook suggested that Todd put aside his differences with his father and get General Schrader to call in a precision airstrike on a three-foot radius around Wilfong. Todd preferred to settle matters himself man-to-man, but Cook warned him that all Brazilians are bred for fisticuffs, even that lady greeter at the Wal-Mart.
Wilfong was plotting in his sub-basement hideout when Joe, Todd and Cook burst in. Wilfong and Joe scuffled until Todd could no longer tell them apart. Eventually, Todd settled his confusion by shooting the real Joe in the foot, then challenged Wilfong to a fistfight. A slow-motion Matrix-style fight ensued. As Wilfong was about to finish off Todd, Gwen entered and confronted Wilfong about his deception. Confused by her rejection, Wilfong hesitated long enough for Mr. Cook to apply the jumper-cable claw to his crotch…then yank it off.
NEXT WEEK: Gwen announces the bands for the prom.