Episode 23 – The Final Chapter
After doing a rockin’ musical number to celebrate their new careers as social workers, Commander Blanket smashed his guitar. Blanket noticed that Shika’s face was now patterned instead of solid blue, and Shika explained that it was a chameleon-like change cause by his great sadness at leaving the Keeton-2 behind. Blanket revealed some unfortunate news…a telegram from Spaceforce informed them that, due to budget cuts, they had abandoned their plans to pick up the crew and bring the station down to earth. Instead, they’re just going to let the Keeton-2 and the entire expendable crew burn up on re-entry.
Altair-3 (the right arm of the giant composite Altair robot) was giving Edwina attitude over her transformation from android to human. She defended herself by pointing out that, while Altair-3 was only a part of a whole, she was now complete in a way Altair-3 would never understand.
As Armageddon Uno did a final check on the butter-churn rocket, Scoopella entered. She explained who she was, and told him that she loved him.
In the station’s centrally located park, Elder Amos Fisher prayed for God’s blessing on the butter-churn rocket. Suddenly, Amos clutched at his chest and collapsed. Jacob entered and saw his fallen adoptive father.
AMOS: “Jacob…I think it’s my ticker…my pumper…my lub-a-dub-dubber…”
Amos told Jacob that he wouldn’t be able to help him anymore…and that Jacob was now the leader of the Amish people. As a symbol of leadership, Amos handed his red suspenders over to Jacob. As the end neared, Amos cried out:
AMOS: “Jacob! I see the Kingdom!”
JACOB: “What’s it like?”
AMOS: “It’s like…Tuberon!”
And with that, Elder Amos Fisher died.
Cody Gage and Dwayne McLifegiver (formerly known as…oh, come on, you know who he is by now) were packing up to start their new life. Dwayne told her that his vast wealth would enable them to go anywhere they wanted, but Cody insisted that she had to actually accomplish something with her life…and she could do that by opening a storage facility for the special-needs people on Tuberon. Dwayne proposed that they not stop there, but open a whole chain of storage facilities. As Dwayne planned their life together, Cody tearfully confessed that she couldn’t burden Dwayne with her terrible medical condition…irritable bowel syndrome. Dwayne tenderly revealed that he shared her affliction.
Altair-4 searched for the other robots. Just as he left, Altair-5 entered. Altair-5 left, and Altair-2 arrived.
ALTAIR-2: “This is like a bad Keystone Kops scene!”
Armageddon and Scoopella took a shower with their clothes on. Scoopella told Armageddon that she’d loved him ever since he took her to Detroit.
ARMAGEDDON: “Wait a minute! Last time I saw you, you were 12. Now, I’m no Paula Poundstone…”
They considered combining her powers and his know-how to start an unprecedented crime wave. Scoopella revealed that, while she was being tested in Dwayne’s Catacombs of Diabolical Nonsense, she found a box containing a billion dollars, which they could use to finance their spree. Tempting as the offer was, Armageddon confessed that his mission to pilot the Amish to Tuberon had taught him an important lesson…it feels good to do good.
Jacob Fisher eulogized his adoptive father, with Dr. Shika in attendance for the impromptu funeral. After the ceremony, Shika gave Jacob even more bad news, telling him about Spaceforce leaving everyone to die. Shika pleaded with Jacob to take them along in the butter-churn rocket. After some quick calculations, they learned that the butter-churn rocket could hold all of Earth’s Amish population, all of Earth’s retarded people, and the entire Keeton-2 crew…except for one person.
Altair-3 got a message from the other Altair robots informing him that they were all outside the station, ready to fulfill their purpose. Altair-3 went out, and we witnessed the awesome spectacle of the five Altairs forming one giant robot (courtesy of the station’s monitor projection screen).
Edwina took a reluctant Scoopella to see her father Jacob. Jacob was ill at ease at being reunited with the destroyer of Detroit, but Edwina urged him to forgive their daughter. Edwina explained Scoopella’s origin, then pointed out her own transformation.
EDWINA: “I’m all human now! I’m still British…I hope we can get past that.”
Jacob confessed his own secret, that he was actually an alien rocketed to Earth as an infant. He opened his shirt to reveal the “A” logo (for Amish-Man) on his super-hero costume underneath. They realized that they were all misfits, and could draw strength from belonging together. Jacob apologized for trying too hard to mold Scoopella into the Amish way of life, and Scoopella apologized for slaughtering Detroit.
Commander Blanket presented Cody Gage with an honorable discharge, then gave her a bag full of his most prized badges and buttons. As Cody reeled from the honor, Dwayne McLifegiver stormed in, enraged over the theft of a billion dollars and 37 cents, which he had packed in a box marked “Tomatoes.” Commander Blanket smoothed things over by offering them the millions he won betting of the Detroit Tigers back in a long-forgotten plot point from Episode 11.
Armageddon Uno stood between his two ships, torn between the freedom and adventure of the Chicken Hawk and the duty and heroism of the butter-churn rocket. Armageddon also felt guilty about taking the billion dollars from Dwayne McLifegiver, the man who truly cares for Armageddon’s sister Cody. Just then, Cody entered, and Armageddon thanked her for fixing his ship…and fixing his heart. Suddenly, a furious Dwayne entered with a gun. Luckily, before things could escalate, the assembled giant Altair robot (now known as “Valtair”) spoke up from outside the station to stop the violence. Calmed down, Dwayne apologized for losing his temper. He told Armageddon that, since Commander Blanket had generously given them his millions, he was going to follow suit and give Armageddon HIS billions.
Suddenly, Commander Blanket arrived, hustling everybody aboard the butter-churn rocket. Just as everyone else boarded, Blanket shut the door behind them. Since one person had to stay behind, Commander James Tranquility Blanket was prepared to sacrifice himself and go down with the ship. (Plus, the Chicken Hawk’s auto-pilot took off to rendezvous with Armageddon later, so scratch that mode of escape.) Moved by Blanket’s heroism, Jacob called out through the portal:
JACOB: “I’ll carve a statue of you on Tuberon!”
BLANKET: “Make me skinnier!”
As everyone bid farewell, Valtair suddenly spoke up, offering to rescue Blanket from the doomed station.
VALTAIR: “Come with us! What do you say?”
BLANKET: “I say…take me down to the Paradise City, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty…”
Everyone began singing along with Commander Blanket as the two vessels separated. As the Keeton-2 went down in flames, the butter-churn rocket arrived at Tuberon. Our heroes’ old home was gone…but a new one lay ahead of them.