Season 3, Episode 14: A Meeting of the Minds

Episode 14: A Meeting of the Minds

Cecil Caponé returned from the hospital and was surprised to find Dennis the vulture working the front desk. Cecil informed Dennis that he was ready to return to his old job, but Dennis showed Cecil the books and pointed out that the hotel consistently lost money under Cecil’s management, but was making a huge profit with Dennis in charge. Cecil demanded his old job back and made a veiled threat to the bird. Dennis pooped on his head.

Tillie was watching the Crocodile Man in her room when Celeste came in to clean. Tillie noticed Celeste’s “wild and dangerous” new look, and Celeste told her about her passionate, forbidden, and VERY brief affair with Chick Starley. Celeste informed Tillie that Chick had inspired her to take up acting herself. Tillie told Celeste that, as an empowered woman, she can do anything, but still cautioned her “but watch out, ’cause you’re blind.”

ShiShi and Mad Dog talked to the bar, reminiscing about the good times they’d had there. Mad Dog asked ShiShi for advice about love. ShiShi suggested he tell her about his feelings so that they could suss out the solution, but since Mad Dog didn’t know what “suss” meant, the discussion got sidetracked.

Dr. Weeds went to see Dr. Buddy Flowers for their therapy session. Dr. Buddy continued the softening of Weeds’ image by using a marker to turn Weeds’ scar into a happy face. Dr. Buddy asked Dr. Weeds to bring in Cecil, and together they’d work out their issues with Buddy’s “radical new device.”

The amnesiac Bert/Travis ran into Vladimir at the laundromat, and they started talking about various detergents.

Bert/Travis: “You should use one of them Downy Balls.”
Vladimir: “I tell you, I AM a Downy Ball right now.”

Vladimir explained that he was depressed because it seemed like everybody at the hotel was in love except for him. Vladimir told Bert that he had taught him to love authority and power. Bert suggested that Vladimir teach that forgotten lesson back to him.

Dennis and Mad Dog were setting up the ballroom for an upcoming convention. Dennis asked Mad Dog how he felt about him as a boss, and Mad Dog confessed to some uneasiness about being around a talking bird. Dennis got up close in an attempt to ease Mad Dog’s discomfort, but accidentally pecked him on the face. Mad Dog fled in terror.

Cecil ran into Bert and recognized him in spite of the mohawk. Bert was initially surprised to hear Cecil call him “Dad,” but was moved to tears by the discovery that he had a son. Cecil and Bert hugged.

Mad Dog went to visit Dr. Buddy. Buddy offered Mad Dog his chair, then threw himself onto the bed and landed with a thud. As Buddy and Mad Dog talked, Buddy slowly sank into the bed. Buddy informed Mad Dog that his lease was running out, and that he’d soon need a place to stay. Mad Dog offered Dr. Buddy a place at the bar. Dr. Buddy eagerly accepted, then disappeared from view.

Dr. Weeds came to ShiShi’s room to pick her up for their date, only to find her passed out drunk on the bed. Dr. Weeds was disappointed to learn that ShiShi had started drinking again (“When we said I’d stop killing & you’d stop drinking, I MEANT killing & drinking!”), but confessed that he still had strong feelings for her (and that these feelings had prevented him from taking advantage of her after drugging her back in Episode 1). ShiShi explained that, now that he’s reformed, she no longer felt good enough for him. Dr. Weeds demonstrated how much she meant to him by taking off his hat. They kissed and went out for popcorn shrimp.

Cecil went to see Celeste to discuss Bert’s personality change. Much to his confusion, Celeste was talking like an Old West “Miss Kitty” saloonkeeper. Finally, she explained that she was just practicing her acting, and Cecil complimented her on her portrayal of a crazy person. Cecil was surprised that Celeste had stopped seeing Bert now that he was a nice guy, but Celeste explained that the chemistry just wasn’t there anymore since Bert changed. Suddenly, Celeste realized that, since SHE’D changed as well, maybe their transformations would counteract each other and the spark would be back.

Dennis and Vladimir were in the breakroom, commiserating over their loneliness and outsider status. Dennis suggested that they go to the Pink Pony and see the strippers. Vladimir liked the suggestion:

Vladimir: “Strippers! Women who take off their clothes for you…tease you…laugh as you leave with less money than you had before!”

Dennis suddenly lost his enthusiasm for the idea.

Travis/Bert visited Tillie to tell her about rediscovering his son. As he shared the good news, Tillie took off his sunglasses, told him he was a beautiful person, and made him look in the mirror. A strange sense of recognition came over him, and he declared “I’M BERT CAPONÉ!”

Having been invited to see Dr. Buddy, Cecil arrived and was shocked to find Dr. Weeds there as well. Cecil drew his gun, and Dr. Weeds brandished his hat. Dr. Buddy made them put their weapons away, then explained that he was going to help them work through their antagonism with his “thought transmogrifier.” As each of them took hold of the device, Dr. Buddy explained that this would help them see each other’s perspective by making them think with one mind and speak alternating one word at a time. He warned them that if they let go, their minds would be wiped out into a blank slate. Suddenly, Dr. Buddy revealed his true colors by forcing them to sign an agreement turning control of the hotel over to Mad Dog, or else he’d wipe their minds clean himself.

Weeds/Cecil: “What!” “Do!” “You!” “Think!” “You’re!” “Doing?” “You!” “Little!” “Fag!”

Celeste went to see Bert, vamping it up to beat the band. Bert was perplexed.

Vladimir and Dennis were on their way to the Pink Pony when they ran into Mad Dog. Mad Dog apologized to Dennis for his earlier panic attack. Vladimir dropped his lollipop and was deeply saddened. Mad Dog suggested he get over it with a good lap-dance.

TO BE CONTINUED…