Season 3, Episode 10: I Love the Smell of Brunswick in the Morning

Guest-starring Mary Kraft as Sandra Seaver.

Episode 10: I Love the Smell of Brunswick in the Morning

Mad Dog returned from his long absence to find many changes…the first of which was Vladimir’s new hair. To express his grief over Bitsy Caponé’s stabbing, Vladimir grew his hair out and started a heavy-metal band, “Gulag.” Mad Dog liked the idea, and asked to join as the band’s drummer. Mad Dog revealed where he’d been these past few weeks: he was in his room the whole time.

Wrongfully imprisoned for stabbing Bitsy, Celeste got a surprise visit from her deaf, Southern Baptist sister Sandra Seaver. The two had an emotional discussion in their special, personal sign language.

An excitable Ebenezer showed Tillie the severed gorilla’s head he found in his bed, but was disappointed when Tillie told him it was just a Halloween mask. They discussed the big Jewish conference coming to the hotel. Tillie asked Ebenezer what “Jewish” meant to him, and the elderly spectre cheerfully rattled off a list of stereotypes.

Dr. Weeds and Bert Caponé met in the garden. Bert was still in shock over his wife’s stabbing and Celeste’s arrest. Dr. Weeds (the true culprit, in case you missed episode 9) said that he had seen Celeste do it with his own eye. Bert was also disappointed that Cecil had done nothing to either stand up for himself or avenge the attack on his mother. Dr. Weeds promised Bert: “In 24 hours, if Cecil isn’t on our side or dead, I’ll make sure he’s dead.”

ShiShi anxiously tried to tell Cecil that she had nothing to do with Bitsy’s stabbing. Cecil assured her that he knew she was innocent, though his reassurance was undermined by the fact that he accidentally called her “Celeste.” A shaken ShiShi said she had enough identity problems already. She told him her real name and talked about her past, growing up in Brunswick. Cecil confessed that he loved the smell of Brunswick.

Bert visited Celeste in her cell and asked if she stabbed his wife. Celeste was hurt that Bert could even think of asking her that question. She assured him she couldn’t hurt a fly, and Bert replied “I know. That’s why I love you. I never said that to anyone before. Well, I told my son once, but he was asleep, so that doesn’t count.” Celeste asked Bert to take her cats to PetSmart and get their picture taken with the Easter Bunny.

Sandra Seaver tried to check into the hotel. Vladimir initially booked her as “Nanra Neamer,” but eventually straightened everything out. The phone rang, and Vladimir talked with a guy named Randy about booking his band.

ShiShi sang “Crazy” to Mad Dog in the lounge. They were both distraught over the recent developments and the hotel’s impending closing. Declaring himself a “pro-active drunk,” Mad Dog resolved to take action.

Tillie met Sandra at the ice machine in the hallway. After learning that Sandra was deaf, Tillie said that she’d been taking sign-language lessons on-line. However, since Sandra only understood the private sign-language she and Celeste worked out, they still couldn’t communicate. Tillie brought Sandra to her room and showed her the closed-captioning on the TV set. After all this, they finally got around to introducing themselves.

Vladimir strummed and tuned his guitar until a string broke.

Ebenezer was practicing his ghostly powers by floating around the hallway (albeit a very low-flying float). He ran into Cecil, and was surprised by Cecil’s new look. Then Ebenezer remembered that he had sworn vengeance on the entire Caponé family. He leapt upon Cecil and unleashed his undead fury, to no apparent effect. Cecil assured Ebenezer that he wasn’t like the rest of his family, and that Bert is their real enemy.

Vladimir continued practicing his guitar until Bert came in to complain about the noise. After they argued about the guitar, Bert admitted his conflicted feelings about Celeste. Vladimir showed Bert a paper he found…a note, supposedly from Celeste, filled with murderous, enraged ranting about Bitsy. Vladimir thought this “confession” could make a good song for Gulag.

After visiting a friend in prison, Dr. Weeds happened to pass Celeste’s cell. When she proclaimed her innocence, Weeds again claimed to have seen her stab Bitsy. Celeste raised the possibility of a look-alike, “’cause I sure don’t remember doing it!” Cecil arrived with a flower for Celeste. Celeste urged Dr. Weeds to tell Cecil about her look-alike theory, but instead, Weeds taunted Cecil by describing his mother’s stabbing in graphic detail. Enraged, Cecil pulled out his gun. Dr. Weeds took the barrel in his mouth.

Sandra Seaver came into the bar to order a Shirley Temple. Mad Dog mistook her for a “def” rapper and forced her to drink hard liquor to fit her “hardcore gangsta” image.

ShiShi was sitting in the garden, pondering the way things were and the way they might be. Dennis the vulture crowed to her, and ShiShi realized she could understand him. She had a tender conversation with Dennis (“Don’t you remember what it was to want to sing instead of caw?”), touching the vulture’s little heart. She asked Dennis for advice, and he crowed out a “downright diabolical” plan.

Bert ran into Cecil outside the prison. Cecil told his father that he had just splattered Dr. Weeds all over the walls because Weeds had stabbed Bitsy. Bert told Cecil about the note from Celeste, then backed up: “Wait a minute, you killed Dr. Weeds?” Cecil shrugged.

TO BE CONTINUED…