Episode 6: In Which Cats Fly

Episode 6: In Which Cats Fly

Gov. Nigel Buttons Gwinnett was engaging in his morning workout, explaining that, since talking to Seth, he was beginning a physical-fitness regimen and cutting out carbohydrates (even though he had no idea what carbohydrates are). Sir Richard DeGranville tried to bring up a more important matter; since aquiring Seth’s 21st-century hoverboard, he had been trying to figure out how it works. (Putting it in terms the governor could understand, DeGranville explained it as “magic,” prompting Gwinnett to demonstrate some incompetent sleight-of-hand.) If he could duplicate the flying machine, it could lead to victory…but he needed more funding to study it.

The Widow Cocovin had led Arnedict Barnold to the top of the stone mountain, explaining how it could provide a useful vantage point for the revolutionary army. Barnold laughingly dismissed her suggestion, asking what a woman could possibly know about strategy.

Having discovered that Cocovin was his direct descendant, from a night of passion with a farmer’s daughter nearly 300 years back, the immortal Hector “Macho” Gazpacho was preparing to leave town in shame. Cocovin found him and tried to resume their romantic liaison. Disgusted by her incestuous advances, Hector drove her away by insulting her viciously. Appalled by Hector’s behavior, his faithful steed Cacafuego galloped off.

Ridickolas Nickleby was working at the front desk of the police station (“Where prisoners are police”) when Seth came in to report his stolen hoverboard. Puzzled by Seth’s technobabble-filled description, Nickleby grew frustrated by his inability to fill out the paperwork. Seth taught him how to express his frustration by shouting “Attica! Attica!” After they calmed down, Nickleby offered Seth a cupcake that Nickleby had baked for his own birthday.

Gov. Gwinnett was searching for doubloons to fund DeGranville’s research when he ran into Princess Penelope. He asked her what that thing on her face was, and she explained that it was a beauty mark. He wondered why anything so ugly would be called that. Getting back to the issue of money, Penelope explained that it could be earned through the exchange of goods or services. (“I could do magic.” “No, you can’t.”)

DeGranville was trying to recruit soldiers for his proposed flying army (“the Hawkmen”) when Arnedict Barnold came by, pointing out that he was being very public about his secret force. Barnold launched into a speech about man not being meant to fly, and DeGranville got on the hoverboard and flew away to escape from Barnold’s verbosity.

Nickleby and Seth went to the Governor’s office to arrest DeGranville for the hoverboard theft. Breaking in and finding it empty, they engaged in a little bit of role-playing, impersonating Gwinnett and DeGranville. They immediately realized how miserable Gwinnett and DeGranville’s lives were.

Hector “Macho” Gazpacho, despondent over his situation, sang about his fatal flaw (“I’m too horny!”).

After nightfall, Gov. Gwinnett and Penelope tried to break into the Clermont Tavern for doubloons; as they crawled towards the entrance, Penelope realized that she couldn’t get up again due to her corset. Gwinnett snuck in while Penelope stayed outside. Startled by a cat, the panicky Gwinnett immediately killed and ate it. He was soon set upon by a horde of vengeful cats; running out, he shouted to the cats “Take her! Take her!” Furious that he would abandon her, Penelope began arguing with him. The noise woke up the Widow Cocovin, who cheerfully invited them both inside.

The next morning, Gwinnett (having spent all the stolen doubloons on booze) presented DeGranville with an attack kitten, whom he named Gary. DeGranville tried to point out that kittens would be useless in fighting the revolution, and that they should be focusing on using the hoverboard as a weapon. Gary suddenly jumped onto the hoverboard and flew off.

At the Clermont Tavern, Cocovin confessed her heartbreak over Hector’s rejecting her, using interpretive dance to express what her words couldn’t. Penelope suggested that Cocovin play hard-to-get, then offered to be her go-between.

Hector, Barnold, and Seth met in Seth’s treehouse to plan a surprise birthday party for Nickleby, including baking a REAL cake for him. (Which they did in a montage sequence.)

DeGranville came to the police station to report the theft of his stolen hoverboard. As he reported it to Nickleby, Gary suddenly flew by. Depressed by the latest setback, DeGranville wondered why nobody liked him. Nickleby pointed out that DeGranville’s black clothes, sword-cane, and scar didn’t exactly make for a good first impression. DeGranville explained that he was allergic to pigmentation, the sword-cane was given to him on his grandfather’s deathbed, and the scar came from playing with the sword as a child (and he’d never sharpened the sword since). Nickleby realized that, for all his fearsomeness, DeGranville hadn’t actually done anything evil. He embraced DeGranville as a friend.

Hector went to Penelope’s Advice And/Or Lovemaking booth for counseling. He confessed to numerous sins in his long lifetime, but before he could explain about his inadvertent incest, Gov. Gwinnett came in for the Lovemaking booth and started trying to hump Hector.

The dejected Nickleby came home, sad that nobody had remembered his birthday. Suddenly, everybody jumped out and yelled “Surprise!” Nickleby thanked everybody for the party and the cake, then informed them that, despite it being his birthday, HE had a present to give…to celebrate their new friendship, he offered his red coat to DeGranville (assuring him that the dirt would insulate him from the color). Gary the kitten flew by, and Nickleby snatched the hoverboard from under him. DeGranville had a choice…he could either take the coat as a symbol of friendship, or the hoverboard that could be a powerful weapon. After a moment’s decision, he took the coat. Nickleby proclaimed that, with all of them united in celebration, nothing could possibly go wrong.
TO BE CONTINUED…